Beyond Just The Interesting Bible Connections, the cross references, and the Greek and Hebrew study aids, I hope with this study we can gain a better understanding of how to really honor our mothers and fathers. Through honoring them we also honor our Father in heaven. This is why I began this study, and I hope it is to this end that we will all eventually come.
So let’s start this article by asking the simple questions: how do we honor our father and mother? What does honor mean to God and how does He use the word in the scriptures? By finding out how God applies the word, we can have clear insight to emulate good biblical behavior. Once this is established we will, in future studies, apply our understanding to the characters of Jonathan and Jesus to see how they honored their fathers.
Definition of kabad
The word for honor used in the context of honoring father and mother is the Hebrew word kabad. It can have negative and positive applications. At its root it means to be heavy. This can be in a bad sense — burdensome, severe, or dull — or in a good sense — numerous, rich, or honorable.
The words derived from the root idea, heavy, are simple enough to understand. Great weight in ancient times could be associated with great wealth. Money was measured in shekels, a unit of weight. The shekel, not surprisingly, is now used today to represent the Israeli dollar. With this wealth, or weight, came also reputation and respect. The closest tie one can draw with English is in our symbolic use of “weight,” as in “I really respect brother Jones; his words carry a lot of weight with me.” If we don’t respect someone, we may take his or her words lightly.
Honor motivates obedience
Let’s look at some biblical uses of kabad in order to find out how the ancient Hebrews would have understood the term. In these examples, we see that to give weight or honor to something is a motivating factor in our decisions and choices. For example:
Reference Verse Use of kabad
Ex. 8:32 And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this Hardness of heart motivated
time also, neither would he let the people go. Pharaoh’s actions against Israel
I Sam. 6:6 Why do you harden your hearts as the Kabad is here used to represent
Egyptians and Pharaoh did? the motivation that might
oppose the will of God
As noted above, kabad can be used in different ways. In the above examples Pharaoh chooses to honor himself. His pride carries a lot of weight and motivates him to obey his own will instead of God’s. Wise men of the Philistines draw on Pharaoh as an example in I Samuel 6:6 and urge the Philistines to honor Him rather than themselves by obeying His commands. If we seek to honor God, we will obey him and not harden our hearts. This is also the case if we seek to honor our parents. Our hearts should be soft and willing to hear and obey.
If we give our parents honor, the outcome will ultimately be our obedience. Honoring them will carry more weight for us than our other motivations. God realizes that those whom we honor we will obey.
We show our inward honor through outward acts of humility and obedience. The emphasis on this is all over scripture. In Proverbs, we have a characteristic Hebrew play on words:
Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops (Pro. 3:9 NIV as all quotes unless noted).
Here in order to honor God we are motivated to bring to Him the best of our wealth. Remembering that the word for honor is synonymous with wealth and riches; we honor God by obediently laying down our honor (our wealth) before Him.
The New Testament provides a similar sentiment when Jesus remarks:
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matt. 6:21).
Jesus clearly shows the connection between treasure and our motivations. If we put our honor (our treasure) with our parents, we will obey them. In the same way, if we honor and put our treasure with God, we give our heart to Him and do His commands.
Honor with God is give and take
Interestingly, there are several incidents in which God gives honor to men.
Reference Verse Use of kabad
Ps. 15:4 Who despises a vile man but honors those God gives honor (wealth,
who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath prestige, etc.) tho those who
even when it hurts, fear Him
Ps. 91:14-15 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I In respose to men’s loving
will rescue him; I will protect him, for he attitude toward God, He will
acknowledges my name. He will call upon save them and grant them Honor
me, and I will answer him; I will be with him
in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.”
God gives honor to his servants as a result of their faith and devotion. This is not the legalistic idea of reward for works. The honor God gives has everything to do with the inward faith and respect that, in turn, motivates the outward humble acts of obedience. This is the sense when in Psalm 15, God honors those who fear Him and, therefore, keep their oaths. In Psalm 91, God honors the servant who loves Him, acknowledges Him, and calls upon Him.
We have to see the honor that God gives as a response to the honor that He receives. We may think that God only receives honor, but He gives it as well. The honor God gives ultimately comes in the form of glory, honor and incorruptibility.
The give and take of this relationship is seen in Psalm 50:23:
He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.
In short, we honor God through our devoted faith and love. These things motivate us to be obedient to Him. Because of this obedience, God will, in turn, honor us. Although salvation is not based on a formula, by looking at honor in this way it isn’t surprising why the commandment to honor your father and mother is the first with promise.
Parents can honor their children by bringing them up in the way of the Lord. Paul notes aspects of this:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).
Bringing up children in this way teaches them to love God and ultimately to receive their honor from Him, both during their life and at judgment. Ironically to receive honor from God, children must first be taught humility. I Peter 5:5-6 expresses this most appropriately:
Likewise you that are younger be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time he may exalt you (RSV).
Summary
It all fits together with such beauty. Honor in the Bible is linked to weight and treasure. It is a motivating force with obedience as the outcome. The Bible emphasizes this when it tells us that where our treasure is, there will our heart be also. The honor we learn as a child toward our father and mother gives us the motivation to be obedient to their words. This attitude encourages us to understand obedience through our faith, love, and humility. Because we honor God in this way and are obedient to Him, He will honor us and exalt us in due season. This reinforces the reasons why this is the first commandment with promise.
Practical application
Here is a practical way to honor your father and mother we can put into practice right away.
Obey your parents: This is perhaps the most obvious way to honor, and I think we can see through this study that honor and obedience go hand in hand. If your parents say something, do it. It doesn’t need to be complicated. By doing as you’re told, you truly show outwardly what honor you may have for them inwardly. Disobedience to father and mother is shown in Deuteronomy 21:18 as a point of contrast to honoring them. Obedience is linked directly with the love of God and Christ in John 14:23,24.
Obedience is essential and needs to be the first priority in our relationship with our parents. The words of Hebrews 13:17 apply:
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
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