David Noel Freedman, a 79-year-old Bible scholar of small stature and raspy voice, teaches at University of California, San Diego. He is very esteemed, and Chief Editor of the Anchor Bible Dictionary and Commentary series. I’ve sat in on a few of his open lectures. At one lecture, he said in his typical dry cynicism, “In order to follow the 10 commandments, the key is to do nothing!” It’s an interesting perspective. If we list out the 10 commandments (Exo. 20:1-17) we will notice that the key phrase is, “You shall not…”
- You shall have no other gods before me.
- You shall not make for yourself an idol.
- You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God.
- You shall not do any work (on the Sabbath).
- Honor your father and your mother.
- You shall not
- You shall not commit adultery.
- You shall not
- You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
- You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.
So Dr. Freedman’s generalization seems somewhat correct except for one command. There is one positive command stuck right in the middle of all the other negative ones. That commandment is to honor your father and mother, and it cannot be performed through inaction. Is it then any wonder that this fifth commandment is the first commandment with promise?
In the midst of instructing children to honor their father and mother, Paul quotes from the 10 commandments. He says in Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother ” — which is the first commandment with a promise — that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
Positive action required
It’s worth our time to consider why this is the first commandment with promise. Hopefully, we’ve already begun to see that this is a vitally important command with implications far beyond just simple obedience.
Let’s think abstractly. You could follow each of the nine other commandments without being a righteous person. For example, many of the Pharisees probably followed each of those nine commandments down to the very last letter. Were they righteous?
It is significant that when Jesus was asked the two most important commands in the law, he turns to two positive statements, love the Lord your God and your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27). Honor your father and mother is like each of those positive commands. You must be proactive to follow it.
Why this command is singled out
The promise is quite significant, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” This commandment is linked directly with the Hebrews’ continued occupation in the land. As has been pointed out in Family Life in the Lord, pp. 154, occupation in the land of Israel depended on much more than just this command. Moses makes this point very directly in Deut. 32:46-47:
Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law. They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. By them you will live long in the land.
We could just as easily have turned to Deut. 4:40; 11:9; or 30:18, to make the same point. Those verses use phrases like “Keep his decrees and commands,” “Observe therefore all the command,” and “Keep his commands, decrees and laws.” Each of these phrases is used and connected with living long in the land. The fact that honoring your father and mother is also linked directly with living long in the land makes it a microcosm (miniature representation) of all those other decrees and commands. This isn’t unique in scripture. Paul does the same thing with loving our neighbor in Galatians 5:14.
Yet why should the fifth commandment be given such a privilege? The key is seen in the reference from Deuteronomy 32 quoted earlier. Look closely at the special instruction there to parents, “…which ye shall command your children to obey carefully.” The relationship between a child and a parent is cyclical. The values, morals, and virtues that my parents taught me I will teach my children. My parents learned those values from their parents.
Remember when we were very young children, we couldn’t understand the length, height, and depth of scripture. Nor did we turn to scripture to guide our behavior. Our parents showed us first and foremost what is right and wrong and taught us to love God. I knew that I loved God before I even knew who God was. I was praying to God before I knew anything about Him.
Let me digress to emphasize this point. As a child, and continuing on in adulthood, I do my best to emulate my father for whom I have the greatest respect. I wanted to be just like my father growing up, to the point where I would tell grown-ups that I was deaf in one ear; not because it was true, but because my father was deaf in one ear.
My father has a particular style of praying, and as children we would hear that style each night around the dinner table. On a couple of occasions when my father was away on business trips, I would be asked to pray. This first started when I was as young as six or seven. When I prayed, I would try to pray just like my Dad, but I would get some of the phrases slightly mixed up. The prayer always ended up sounding really funny. My sisters could hardly hold back the laughter as I did my best to pray just like Dad.
The point of that story is that it was my Mom and my Dad who taught me about God. They taught me that I should pray, how to pray, and what to pray for. I didn’t know God, except what I knew through Mom and Dad.
The same held true in ancient Israel. The fifth commandment would help to insure a cycle of worship in Israel. Parents would learn to obey the laws Moses gave them. Those parents would teach the commands to their children, who would also learn them, and they would in turn pass the laws down to their own children. This was especially important because access to the scrolls of the law and the ability to read them was very limited in ancient Israel. Each generation would help to contribute toward the blessing and education of the next generation. If this chain were followed, each generation would be tied back to Moses and Abraham, not through blood, but through the knowledge of God.
Through the fifth commandment God is setting up a beautiful paradigm. The parents “command their children to obey carefully” the words of God. The children learn to respect their parents and in so doing respect and love God. To honor your father and mother isn’t a “you shall not” command. This isn’t a rule or a detail. This is a way of organizing your life. This was a system of ensuring individual and national blessing upon Israel and a way to make certain that they would live long in the land God had promised them. In this way, it is a microcosm of all other commands under the Law of Moses.
How powerful can this be in our lives? Do we see clearly why God takes this command so seriously? Can we see why God exacts a punishment of death for cursing your mother and father? To curse your mother and father was to break the cycle. It would break the chain that led back to Moses and God’s words. Several generations of breaks could bring disaster, just glance at Judges.
Practical suggestions
In continuing last month’s lead, we will add here three more practical ways to honor your mother and father.
- Ask if you can help — Parents are always asking us to do this and do that. From cleaning our room to taking out the garbage, they always seem to be hounding us with something. Why don’t we shock Mom and Dad by actually doing what we know they want us to do before they ask us to do it? And then let’s ask if we can help with anything else.
- Be the one to suggest Bible readings — Instead of waiting for Mom and Dad to gather the troops after a meal to do the readings, suggest to your parents that you would like to do the readings after dinner. Then after the meal is done and the dishes are washed, be the first one to grab your Bible and grab theirs as well.
- Use kind words — Around the household, if you find that the things you say are often critical or negative, concentrate on saying kind words instead. Compliment your parents and your siblings. Do kind and considerate things for each other even though you don’t have to. Your parents will appreciate this.
Others: Say thank you; be forgiving.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One