In referring to the insidiousness of gossip Mark Twain is reputed to have said, “It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” Today we almost always associate the word gossip with surreptitiously spreading slander about a person or group. That indeed is the commonly understood meaning today in America, and accordingly the word appears 10 times in the NIV (but not even once in the KJV, and once only in the NKJV). The word “gossip” almost without fail conjures up a note of mischievous intent and worse — outright fabricated slander — being spread about someone. However, that was not always so; the earliest occurrence of the word in English literature is in 1590 and the tertiary meaning was to talk idly, mostly about other people’s affairs. 1This didn’t necessarily mean slandering someone; it could have been as innocent as simply passing on the news of a recent betrothal, or about someone who had bought a beautiful new mare. The relatively harmless meaning that prevailed in the 16th century is probably why the King James translators did not use this word. It is in fact only in relatively recent times in America that the primary meaning of “gossip” has taken on a more sinister meaning.
Some years ago many newspapers carried what were known as “Gossip Columns”.2These reported the doings of the rich and famous: who was seen dating whom, who was seen listening to jazz at the Cotton Club, who was divorcing whom, and so on. Sometimes celebrities were reported doing things they shouldn’t have been doing, but by and large these columns were pretty innocent by today’s standards, and the reporters stuck to the facts. Naturally, if a newspaper printed slander they could have been held liable for damages; hence, gossip columns were more about titillation than fabricated vilification. Today we have E! TV and Us, People and similar magazines, that have carried on the gossip column tradition, only in a slicker format. Unfortunately the advent of the Internet with email, chat rooms, blogs, etc., can make anyone a gossip columnist capable of spreading slander instantaneously all over the world — with just a push of the “send” key and with no apparent accountability.
When it comes to the Scriptures, several different Hebrew and Greek words have been translated as “gossip” in the NIV. Without fail, all of them refer to the worse possible meaning, namely, intent to fabricate lies, exaggerations, and embellishments with the aim of destroying a person’s (or group’s) reputation. The AV uses words such as “talebearer”3or “whisperer” 6among your people; nor shall you take a stand against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD” (Lev 19:16, NKJV).
This verse goes further here than immediately obvious from the KJV; the NIV translates the close of this verse as follows: “Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life; I am the LORD.” Today, while we may not actually goad someone to murder with our gossip, nevertheless we can slay their reputation with the sword of the tongue: “A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends” (Prov 16:28).
Why does this happen? Why do we find ourselves so prone to spreading gossip? There are many different motives, but I believe the best and most succinct explanation is provided by the words in Proverbs as expressed in the NIV:
“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts” (Prov 18:8).
The food metaphor is an apt one and we even use it today in such expressions as “This is a juicy (or meaty) piece of gossip.” The more embarrassing the details, the more it shows the other person in a bad light, the faster the tale will spread and we will eat it up like cake (yet another food metaphor!). The verse in Proverbs quoted above explains it all: juicy gossip satisfies our appetites for feeling superior to others, just like a good meal satisfies our stomachs.
Gossip against Moses
There are plenty of Scriptural examples of how slanderous gossip was painfully aimed at holy men of old. Remember what happened to Moses when the spies came back from the land of Canaan:
“So the men Moses had sent to explore the land… returned and made the whole community grumble against him by spreading a bad report about it” (Num 14:36, NIV).
The words “spreading a bad report” give us a chilling picture of what transpired. The ten who feared the Canaanites, and trusted not in God, were not content to merely report back to their leader Moses and let him decide what to do. Instead, they spread gossip throughout the camp aimed at promoting their (false) impressions. We can probably imagine that as gossip spread, the rumors of giants dwelling in the Land made them taller and taller. The walled cities of the Canaanites became so thick that many chariots could ride on top of them, and the height of their battlements reached to the heavens. Since it is clear they turned the people against Moses, we can only wonder what other embellishments they may have used to bolster their case.
What we do know is that the gossip had the intended effect: it turned the people against Moses. More importantly, it showed their lack of faith in the LORD God. It was the spreading of gossip against Moses, and ultimately against the power of God to redeem them, that kept the children of Israel in the wilderness for 40 years. In turn, God judged their wickedness. We all know the outcome of the story: they all died without setting either eye or foot upon the Promised Land (except for Caleb and Joshua).7
Moses, as is true of all leaders, was especially apt to be the object of gossip. It can even happen in the ecclesia today when we are displeased with some action of our arranging brothers, or some other individual. We may not be content to simply argue based solely upon the facts, but we may also be tempted to spread rumors and innuendoes to strengthen our objections. Once gossip starts, it spreads like a virus. First one tells another, then they tell two, who speak to four more, who speak to eight, and so on. It only takes three or four retellings to infect a whole assembly. Soon bitterness, strife, and disunity follow. Indeed, gossip can destroy a congregation as surely as it destroyed the nation of Israel in the days of Moses.
The problem of gossip led to difficulties in the first century church, as we are aware of from the epistles of the apostle Paul. He admonished the Corinthians for their gossiping (2 Cor 12:20). The KJV uses “whisperings” to describe the antics going on in Corinth, while the NIV uses “gossip” in v 20. The same errant behavior is berated in the Roman (Rom 1:29) and Ephesian (1Ti 5:13) ecclesias.
We cannot be certain about what was the source of gossip for the brothers and sisters in Corinth, Rome or Ephesus. However, we do know the gossiping behavior was extremely repugnant to the apostle. Gossiping was included in the same breath with numerous character flaws — flaws which, I believe, all of us agree should be most unacceptable in our ecclesias today. Consider that in Corinth gossip was lumped together with quarreling, jealousy, anger, factions, slander, and arrogance (2Co 12:20, NIV). In Rome the stakes were raised to include gossip in the same company as envy, strife, deceit, malice, and even murder (Rom 1:29, NIV). When we spread tales about someone, we are slaying them with our tongues. The extraordinary thing about gossipers is that, while they are in the process of destroying the reputation of others, they are at the same time smearing their own reputations. Who trusts a gossip? No one! My grandmother used to say to beware of anyone speaking ill of another, because chances are when my back was turned he would be doing the same thing of me.
Gossip against John
The apostles were themselves personal victims of gossip:
“Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us (gossiping, NIV) with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church” (3John 1:10, NKJV).
Apparently, a church elder named Diotrephes was disfellowshipping brothers and/or sisters unjustly, and John had contended with him for doing so. This man Diotrephes, to bolster his position in the ecclesia, reacted by spreading malicious gossip against the disciple most beloved by our Lord Jesus Christ. We know once again, from this incident, that no one is immune to slander being spread about him. If one could attack the apostle John for his fellowship beliefs, who is exempt from such rumor mongering? The moral here is not that we are never to make any judgments about a person (or group).
Taking it too far
Sometimes our Lord’s reproach against judging others is overextended. The pronouncement “Judge not, that you be not judged” (Mat 7:1) is not a general prohibition against ever condemning the wrong actions of others. The next two verses that follow in Matthew 7 make it clear that judgment has to be carefully weighted, not ignored. Furthermore, the words of Jesus in the Gospel of John — “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24, NKJV) — make it clear that it is the manner in which we judge that is critical. Our judgments must be “righteous”, and the only way that can happen is if we consider anything we may hear about a person (or group) in the light of the Word of God. By this standard the ecclesia in Asia should have known that Diotrephes was a scoundrel, and that the slanderous gossip he was spreading about the apostle was not to be tolerated.
Our Lord Jesus Christ was, and is even today, the victim of much malicious gossip. Just think of how many deny his virgin birth, and instead ascribe immorality to his beloved mother Mary. The Pharisees and Sadducees belittled his humble circumstances in life: “Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary?” (Mark 6:3). We can imagine the whisperings: ‘Some Messiah! A mere carpenter!’ They were expecting a king, not a servant. Jesus did not fit the image they had conjured up from their narrow understanding of their own Scriptures; hence, gossiping about him was fair sport. No one is immune to gossip, not Moses, Paul, John, or even our Lord Jesus Christ.
How to deal with gossip
How do we defeat gossip? Fortunately, the Scriptures provide us with detailed instructions for doing so. First, don’t fall for the flatterer who tries to pry information from you about someone who has taken you into his confidence:
“He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips” (Prov 20:19, NKJV).
If someone tells you something in confidence it should end there. The information should not pass your lips even to your spouse or best friend! The same goes for privileged information that may be discussed at an arranging board meeting. Sadly, I have seen this ignored time and again. It invariably leads to trouble. It is a dismal fact of human existence: some people think that if they repeat a story to only one other person it is still a secret. Some may even be offended that I said not to tell even your spouse a confidence entrusted in you, but ethically that is exactly what you should do unless the person giving you that private information has given you permission to do so.
A second way to defeat gossip is not to allow yourself to become part of the process. How? Refuse to hear it. And certainly, if you have been exposed to it before you realize that it is gossip, make sure it dies with you!
“Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases” (Prov 26:20, NKJV).
Finally, don’t be the source of gossip. The apostle Paul told the Ephesians: “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph 4:29, NKJV).
James the brother of our Lord Jesus records nearly identical words: “Speak not evil one of another, brethren” (Jam 4:11).
If we follow this advice we can never be the source of gossip.
The ecclesia ought to be a place for building up (1Co 14:26) and healing (Luke 5:31), not for tearing down and destroying. Gossip is an inherently destructive disease that can destroy the body of Christ. May we be able to say to our brothers and sisters, as the apostle Paul was able to declare to the Corinthians:
“We do all things, beloved, for your edification” (2Co 12:19).
- The Oxford Universal Dictionary, 3rd edition, Oxford University Press, London, 1964.
- Some readers might remember the newspaper columns epitomized by writers such as Irv Kupcinet, in Chicago, Walter Winchell and Ed Sullivan in New York, Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper, in Los Angeles, Herb Caan in San Francisco, etc. These created the cult of the celebrity through what was called “gossip columns”.
- Strong’s number 7400: rakiyl, raw-keel’; from 7402 meaning a scandal-monger (as travelling about) — slander, carry tales, talebearer.
- Strong’s number 5372: nirgan, neer-gawn’; from an unused root meaning to roll to pieces; a slanderer — talebearer, whisperer.4in most instances to translate these same Hebrew and Greek words. There are also occasions when the concept of gossip, or talebearing if you prefer, comes into play even though the stories are not labeled specifically as such.
Let us explore instances of gossip in the Scriptures — some apparently innocent, others clearly malicious — and see what we can learn.
Jesus the subject of “gossip”
First let us consider the case of our Lord Jesus Christ healing the leprous man (Mark 1:40-45). Here the text tells us that Jesus “strictly warned him and sent him away at once, and said to him, ‘See that you say nothing to anyone; but go your way’. ” We are not specifically told why Jesus did not wish publicity at this time. Perhaps it was a test for this man:
“A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter” (Prov 11:13, NKJV).
Or perhaps our Lord wanted some solitude and did not wish to be overwhelmed with a crowd at this time (this is hinted in Mark 1:45). Whatever the reason, the healed leper did exactly what he had been warned not to do: “However, he went out and began to proclaim it freely, and to spread the matter…” (v 45, NKJV). It has often been said that the surest way to get a tale spread is to tell someone not to tell anyone else!
There are many forms of gossip, and the cured leper illustrates one type. (We do not know how he may have perhaps even embellished the story!) Who can resist passing on a good story? The juicier the story, the more likely we are to pass it on to another person. Rare indeed are the times when stories of someone’s good deeds are spread abroad! The leper is at least worthy in that respect: he at least passed on miraculous good news, something we ourselves rarely can claim to do; we are far more likely to forward disparagement rather than acclaim. Regardless, spreading a story when one has been asked to keep one’s counsel is a trust broken. It is the main reason why brothers and sisters in difficulty often are extremely reluctant to discuss their problems with their arranging brothers, or even with anyone else in their ecclesia. The feeling that, then, everyone will know about their problem is unfortunately often the case. May we learn that a confidence broken is not only an affront to man, but also to our heavenly Father (Prov 11:13).
The Law of Moses
The Law of Moses specifically forbids spreading slander:
“You shall not go about as a talebearer5The NIV uses “slander” here.
- God did allow Moses to see the land from afar (Deut 34:1-3).
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