Little Words That Mean A Lot (Part 2 of 0)

Forgiveness – Part 2

“For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee” (Psa. 86:5).

Our thoughts for this particular essay will focus on the word forgiveness. When our Lord Jesus Christ taught us how to pray, the principle of forgiveness was the centerpiece of his teaching. Notice how the prayer covers all the main Biblical principles, from:

(a) honoring the Lord our God in its opening words (echoing the greatness of His being, spoken of many times in the Old Testament: Exod. 20:1-7; Psa. 8:1,9; 36:7; 148:13; 150:2; and many others), to

(b) praying for His kingdom to come (e.g., Rev. 22:20), to

(c) asking Him to meet our simplest needs (daily bread — not steak!), to

(d) keeping us from sin (e.g., 1 Cor. 10:13), to

(e) imploring Him for forgiveness, as we forgive others.

We cannot help but notice that Jesus is instructing us that his forgiveness towards us is “conditional”, in the sense that it is entirely dependent on our willingness to grant forgiveness to others. With all the depth of meaning condensed into the Lord’s Prayer, it is instructive that the only point that Jesus chooses to expand upon is the one on forgiveness.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14,15, NKJV).

It is obvious that this is a first principle because, if the Lord God does not forgive our trespasses, we surely will not be in the kingdom. We will be cast aside at the Judgment Seat, and the same quality of mercy that we offered to those who sinned against us will be poured out upon us.

There is a very strong emphasis on forgiveness in the teachings of our Messiah. Yet in my life experience it has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn personally. My observation convinces me that forgiveness is also one of the most difficult virtues for others to practice when they feel sinned against. The disciples also had a hard time accepting the principle of forgiveness; this led Peter to ask the question:

“Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (Matt. 18:21).

There is an apparent justification for Peter trying to limit forgiveness to “seven times”. Under Jewish custom, in the first century, the number seven stood for completeness (i.e., the seven days of creation); hence forgiving seven times seemed a reasonable way to deal with a sinner. We shouldn’t be critical of the disciple’s expectation that seven was a perfectly respectable number of times to offer for­giveness, because forgiving even once is an extremely difficult task for most of us to accomplish. Before examining the response of the Lord Jesus Christ to Peter’s query, it would pay for us to look further at Peter’s cultural environment.

Jewish “forgiveness”

It would be grossly unfair to assume that the Jews were less forgiving than others, and that Peter was looking for a way out — so as to limit the quality and quantity of his forgiveness (some Christian commentators have insinuated this). Nothing could be further from the truth, because forgiveness was, and is, hallowed as an extremely important first principle for faithful Jews. The Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, is the most sacred holiday in the Jewish calendar. Even if a Jew doesn’t feel much like going to synagogue on any other day of the year, one might expect to find him or her there on this most holy day. To realize how important Yom Kippur is to contemporary Jews, and exactly what it means to their religion, I quote from a recent source:

“The holiday [i.e., Yom Kippur] is important because it is about asking for forgiveness from those you have wronged in the past year. The Jewish new year Rosh Hashanah… marks the beginning of the Days of Awe. Shifron added that during this time forgiveness should be asked from the people you’ve wronged in the past.” 1

First century Jews were also strongly influenced by the teachings of the famous Rabbi Hillel who was a partial contemporary of our Lord Jesus Christ.2One of his most often repeated teachings reflects concern not only for one’s own well being, but also for the welfare of others:

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”

A modern derivative on Hillel’s philosophy has specifically tied this to forgive­ness:

“It also helps me to put the issue of forgiveness in the framework so many have borrowed from Hillel: ‘If I am not going to forgive, who will?’ (Not God.) I can’t necessarily wait for the other person’s apology. If I am only for myself — focusing solely on my own resentments, and not on the needs of my family or colleagues or community — what am I? And if not now, when will I be ready? When will enough time have passed for necessary scar tissue to have formed, but not too much so that the scar is too impenetrable?” 3

Hence to claim that forgiveness is a principle owned only by Christians is a mis­conception. Certainly the Apostle Peter must have been taught the virtues of forgiveness in his upbringing.

Roman “forgiveness”

The Romans on the other hand had little use for the concept of forgiveness. Pre­serving honor and wreaking vengeance for perceived sins against one’s person were the rule. It is no accident that the English word “vendetta”, for vengeance, is carried over from the Italian — who had adopted it from the Latin vindicta.4Unfortunately, many people still follow “vendetta” rather than forgiveness when they have been wronged. There is an old Sicilian5folk saying that goes something like this: “When you set out on vendetta dig two graves!” The implication being that you will probably also need one for yourself. Indeed this is often the consequence of our unwillingness to offer forgiveness; it not only harms others, but it can also be self-destructive. A person who harbors revenge is eaten up inside, and his life becomes bitter. He doesn’t know how to let go and move on with his own life. In the end the person who has wronged him has won!

Modern “forgiveness”

Many of the ills that cause conflict in our world today come from the thirst for revenge rather than forgiveness — such tragedies as the bitter Israeli/Arab conflict, ongoing world terrorism, the atrocities in the Balkan wars, and many others. These stem from wanting an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, rather than the loving forgiveness embodied in the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also…” (Matt. 5:38-42, NKJV).

One of the few positive examples of literally obeying this teaching of our Master under the most trying circumstances was the forgiveness offered recently by the Amish community. After the shocking slayings of the young girls at the Nickels Mines, Pennsylvania, one-room schoolhouse on October 2, 2006, ABC.com reported: “Amish Say They ‘Forgive’ School Shooter”. The story went on to say:

“It didn’t take long for us to learn that the Amish families most affected by this tragedy have responded in a way that might seem foreign to most of us: They talk about Monday’s school shooting only in terms of forgiveness.”

I wonder how many of us would react this way if we were faced with comparable circumstances.

“How many times?”

We return to Peter’s question. In answer, Jesus, as he so often taught in the Gospel message, takes a principle of the Law of Moses and expands it so that the spirit is now one that is completely reflective of the character of the LORD God. God’s mercy is without limit; likewise, seventy times seven suggests the uncountable number of times that we are expected to forgive. Surely we do not want God to forgive only seven of our trespasses! If that were the case we are lost and our life has been in vain. The emphasis in Jesus’ teaching is completely on mercy not justice: “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” (Matt. 5:7).

The beatitudes have nothing to say about justice, although I sometimes think that we interpret this passage as meaning: “Blessed are those who offer justice, for they shall obtain justice.” In the KJV Bible the word “justice” is completely absent from the New Testament text (it appears 28 times in the Old Testament). We should be extremely thankful that the Lord God offers us mercy, not justice, as is evident from the well-known passage in Romans 6:23:

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

We cannot justly earn eternal life; it can only be obtained as a wonderful gift, by the mercy and grace of our Lord.

Forgiveness without repentance?

Nevertheless, one might recoil at the idea of offering forgiveness without repen­tance. As if to say: ‘Doesn’t Isaiah teach that the wicked must forsake his way and return… before the LORD can have mercy (Isa. 55:7)?’ Or, ‘Only those who are rebuked and who repent may be forgiven (Luke 17:3,4)!’

Certainly for forgiveness to profit the sinner, there must be true repentance. But forgiveness can benefit the wronged person even if the sinner hasn’t repented (cp. Matt. 5:38-48; John 8:1-11).6

The very act of offering our forgiveness may turn that sinner around. In the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ, the blessing is upon the person being merci­ful — whether or not the person receiving mercy appreciates it. He will have to answer to God for his sins, of course: “Vengeance is mine, saith the LORD!” But we don’t have to demand it ourselves before we offer forgiveness.

The greatest example of this offer of unmerited forgiveness is that given by our Lord Jesus Christ as he was dying on the cross:

“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34, NKJV).

What had the Jews, who had falsely accused him, or the Roman authorities, who condemned him for expediency, done to deserve his forgiveness? Jesus was content to leave it in the Father’s hands — and so should we.

The parable of the “Wicked Servant” offers us further insight into the weakness of human nature in dealing with forgiveness (Matt. 18:23-35). In this parable the king forgives his servant a huge debt equivalent today to billions of dollars.7The servant throws himself completely at the mercy of his king, and with great compassion the king releases him of all debt. Unfortunately, immediately the servant is faced with similar difficulty with one of his own colleagues who owed him an extremely trivial sum.8The comparison in the relative debt is staggering, as it was meant to be. The Lord Jesus Christ is drawing an exact analogy: we are the “wicked servant”, and our debt of sins is monumental compared to the sin any individual can commit against us. However, human nature is very deceitful; just like the wicked servant we can be blind to our own failings yet see very clearly the mote in the other fellow’s eye (Matt. 7:1-5).

‘What sin?’

This failure fully to perceive our own sins is evident even in a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam. 13:14).

We are no doubt familiar with the story of David and Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11; 12). King David was carried away with lust and committed adultery. He then (mis)used his power as ruler of Israel to betray the trust of his loyal servant Uriah. David’s subterfuge was responsible for the death of Uriah. He was as guilty of murder as if he had struck the fatal blow himself. Furthermore, there is no Scriptural evidence that David showed any remorse; he seemed perfectly content to cover up his crimes until Nathan confronted him. I have no doubt that David would be out of fellowship in our ecclesial world today. Would we reach out to such a person, as God did through the prophet Nathan? Or would we simply sit back and say: ‘When that brother or sister is ready, of a free will, to acknowledge his or her crimes, and repent, then we will think about it’?

King David was blind to the horrible sins he had committed in his lust for Bath­sheba. He had to be forced to confront his corrupt acts through a parable told him by the prophet Nathan. David’s indignation at the act of a rich man robbing a poor man is powerfully voiced:

“So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, ‘As the LORD lives, the man who has done this shall surely die!’ ” (2 Sam. 12:5, NKJV).

He was apparently oblivious to the fact that he was, in effect, passing sentence upon himself. One can only wonder what the expression must have been on David’s face when the prophet made the pronouncement:

“Then Nathan said to David, ‘You are the man!’ ” (v. 7).

To David’s everlasting credit he doesn’t do what we have so often seen in public affairs in our own age, i.e., attempt to equivocate or — worse yet — cover up. The cover-up has often turned out to be more horrendous than the original crime.

The steps of forgiveness

In Psalm 51 we gain a powerful insight into the mind of David in reaction to Nathan’s indictment. This psalm is a primer in how we can recover from our sins. Notice the progression of David’s thoughts.

  1. He pleads for mercy, not justice, knowing that he is entirely unworthy of the latter (v. 1).
  2. He acknowledges his sin (v. 3).
  3. He realizes that ultimately all sin is not only against others, but an affront to the Lord God (v. 4).
  4. He puts aside pride and pleads for God’s forgiveness, acknowledging the weakness of human flesh (vv. 5-8).
  5. He asks God not only to forgive his sins, but also to forget them, i.e., ‘blot out all mine iniquities’.

This is a lesson we can all take to heart. We have not truly forgiven until we can also forget any abuse we have taken. We are promised that this is exactly what God will do:

“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19, NKJV).

It would be incongruous indeed if in the kingdom age our sins were forgiven yet we were to be constantly reminded what they were. Likewise, we have never truly forgiven someone until we completely put the pain of the sin out of our thoughts and move on with our lives.

The final verses of Psalm 51 plead for a renewed spirit, and teach us exactly what frame of mind we need in order to be forgiven by both man and God:

“Renew a right spirit within me… The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart — These, O God, You will not despise” (vv. 10,17, NKJV).

We all sin, but we should not despair. The Scriptures teach us that, with only one exception, all sin can be forgiven. The only exception, of course, is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Matt. 12:31). In that case a person has denied the authority of God, and under such circumstances one cannot ask for the power of forgiveness while at the same time refusing to believe in the omnipotence of the LORD.

The key points

To summarize the key points that we have learned about forgiveness:

  1. It is a first principle (Matt. 6:14,15).
  2. It is conditional — we will only receive as much we give (Matt. 6:12).
  3. It can be given irrespective of any repentance by the party offending us (Luke 23:34).
  4. It must be offered even under the most trying circumstances (Matt. 5:38­ 42).
  5. It will only benefit the one committing the sin if accompanied by repentance (Psa. 51).
  6. It is possible to forgive all sins except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Matt. 12:31).

“But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth (Psa. 86:15, NKJV).”

  1. http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.aspx?id=37968
  2. The actual dates of Rabbi Hillel’s birth and death are somewhat obscure, and various sources are not in agreement. The best estimate I have found is that he probably passed away in 10 AD, when Jesus was a young teenager.
  3. Cohen, “Forgiveness — The Challenges of Living with Ambivalence”, Autumn 2002 issue of the JRF Quarterly Reconstructionism Today.
  4. Compact Oxford Dictionary of Everyday English.
  5. Some sources claim that this is a Chinese folk saying, but my Italian grandmother would have disagreed. The Chinese also claim to have invented spaghetti!
  6. The woman is caught in the act of adultery (what about her male companion?). It is clear that Jesus forgives her and counts on this generosity turning her life around. There is no evidence in this story of the woman first repenting before Jesus took her side of the case.
  7. We are not told whether this was a gold or silver talent, in either case the sum was huge. From WEB notes: “A talent is a weight of about 34 kilograms or 75 pounds.” As of May 22, 2007, gold was trading at $659 per oz. and silver at $13.10 per oz. This would place the current value of 10,000 talents at almost $8 billion for gold and approximate $157 million for silver. Note: Other sources give the weight of a talent from 60 to 90 pounds.
  8. “Authorized Version ‘penny’, Matt.18:28; 20:2,9,13, a Roman silver coin… worth about 16 cents” (Peloubet’s Bible Dictionary, The John C. Winston Co., Philadelphia, PA, 1947 ed., p. 146). Using Peloubet’s valuation the servant owed about $16. Values from 14 cents to $20 have been placed on this coin from other sources. The important point is that the amount was trivial compared to 10,000 talents.