Old Plants and New – Part forty six

The writer has never experienced a natural earthquake, yet there are earthquakes in our lives which are just as devastating.

Death of a partner

When a beloved partner in the truth dies, the very foundation of our lives is shaken to the core and nothing is quite the same again.

Brothers and sisters rally around. Depending on where we live and how well known we are, there may be dozens, or even hundreds, at the funeral to show love and support.

There are those, of course, who turn away their eyes, not knowing what to say. That is the exception, as phone calls and letters continue to pour in perhaps months after the tragic event. Even years later, there will still be some who speak sympathetically of the one who has gone and the compassion in words “widowed” or “widower” is always there. Of course one is grateful for the support and help, but there is a great big empty hole where the other half of you used to be.

Divorce

A divorce has much the same effect without the same result.

When a marriage dies and a partner leaves, not to the grave but into the world of darkness or to another, the one left behind mourns virtually alone. There is little support; many who profess to know and love you will not show it to avoid “taking sides.” There may be one or two calls and letters, some of them perhaps condemning the actions taken.

There are those, of course, who turn away their eyes, not knowing what to say. Even years later, there may be some who, in ignorance of the facts, still condemn a divorced brother or sister and move aside as one approaches. The stigma of the word “divorced” is always there. Of course you are grateful for the support and help given, but there is a great big empty hole where the other half of you used to be.

This kind of earthquake the writer has experienced. After many years of continuing in the Truth bereft of the one I loved, I know this response to be true.

Help from a dying plant

There are lessons everywhere for us, however, if we keep open the eye of faith.

A little while ago I visited a brother whose wife (a good friend of mine) had recently died. The plants she had loved lay dying too, either from assiduous over-watering or the need for attention which the brother did not know how to give.

I did what I could for them but one in particular was very close to the point of no return. It was a trailing plant, some type of Wandering Jew, with an attractive shiny dark-green leaf striped with a silvery grey. The back of the leaf was a gleaming purple color. When I told him it was about dead, he found it hard to believe. There were still very healthy-looking leaves in abundance at the ends of the trailing stems, so it must surely be all right! What I regretfully had to point out was there were no new shoots coming up from the roots, and the leaves nearest to the pot were completely dried up.

With his permission I took the plant away. I know it hurt him to see it go. “She loved that plant,” he said.

Work with what’s left

I took it home, cut off the healthy ends and put them in water to root, leaving the original stems in the pot “just in case.” A few weeks later, I was able to present the brother with the same pot, in the same basket, with an abundance of new, glossy purple leaves bursting with exuberant life. A while later, one little green shoot struggled up from the dried root.

The apostle Paul says, “Love never faileth.” How true this is. Feelings of anger, betrayal, hurt (from the death of a partner or divorce) should eventually fade, but the loving heart is like the widow’s cruse of oil — there is always room for more.

Here indeed were very clear lessons. Whatever kind of earthquake happens in our lives, we have to have the courage to sort through the rubble to find out what has survived, to pick up the pieces and start again. We have to accept and let go of what is truly dead and do what we can with what is left.

There were enough cuttings from my friend’s plant to keep a few for myself as a constant reminder of this lesson from nature — to look forward, to forget anger, bitterness, sorrow and to build on what is left. As the apostle Paul puts it: “…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead pet us] press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14 NKJV).