The book of proverbs speaks of two types of women — the wise woman, who builds her house and the foolish woman, who tears it down. Proverbs 31:28 shows the blessing the wise woman is to her household: “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 21:19 points to the misery that an angry and contentious woman brings to her household: “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”
The virtuous woman
Proverbs 31:10-31 gives a profile of the gracious woman and the way she built her house — her family. Certain key verses reveal how she is able to achieve so much. She does not eat the bread of idleness, she has interest and diligence (v.27). The bases for her actions are wisdom and kindness (v.26). Using such means, she earns the confidence and trust of her husband and children (vs. 10-12,28). The effects of her works are extended beyond the household to those with whom they have contact; her husband, for example, is known when he sits in the gates (v.23). This all adds up to a happy and confident family behind which is a wise and busy woman.
This chapter also reveals that, even though not the head of the home, the woman is the “hub” around which the family revolves. The home, the domain of the woman, is the place of relaxation and rest to which all resort at the end of a stressful day at work or school. The operation of the home is typically the responsibility of the woman. She may be highly successful in other areas (vs. 16-19) but it is here that she fits the role of a helper meet (fit) as a complement to her husband. How she handles this role is essential to the state of the family as she can influence the household for either good or bad.
Following we consider some scriptural examples of the woman’s influence on the household.
Notice how easily she influences Adam. Adam inclined toward her rather than His creator. Why? How did she manage this? Presumably in becoming one flesh in the marriage, she had assumed her role as the center of activities in the home and Adam had come to lean on her as the homemaker, coming to trust her judgment in crucial matters. “The heart of her husband doth…trust in her” (Prov. 31:11-12).
In its subtlety, the serpent may have been closely observing the influence that Eve had over Adam and craftily made its move to the one who seemed to hold sway in decisions. If her focus had been in the right direction, this is where she could have exerted her influence for the good of the home. It could be that the serpent noticed where Eve’s eyes were looking.
Supporting her husband as a suitable help in their walk together to the kingdom is the role for which the woman was specifically created; in doing this to the best of her ability, she glorifies her Creator. Eve, instead of focusing on this, was caught up with satisfying the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. This was her priority; as a result, she had great influence for harm on all her descendants.
When we miss the goal
God had placed Eve in an idyllic situation. Why did she not focus on this? What beguiled her from this solid reality to that illusion which led her to the downward path of grief for herself and family? Her ready response to the serpent’s prompting is evidence that her attention was on other than the things of God.
In contrast, the virtuous woman was too busy and diligent fitting into her God-given role as a help meet to cater to fleshly lusts. She looked well to her household; she ate not the bread of idleness; her candle did not go out by night (sin did not catch her unawares) and all of her actions were based on the wisdom of the word. “Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain (this was not her focus), but a woman that feareth the Lord (this was her focus), she shall be praised.” Had Eve been so disposed, instead of dwelling on the pride of life or the lust of the eyes, the serpent in its subtlety may not even have approached her. And if it had, it would have been renounced outright.
When we are not careful to keep the word of God in the forefront of our minds, we automatically revert to our natural carnality and our vision consequently becomes clouded with the things that are attractive to the flesh.
We lose our perspective and fail to fully appreciate the blessings God makes so readily available to us.
A watchful, merciful Father
When we begin to lose our perspective, our Heavenly Father, who is witness to all that we do, usually steps in out of love for us. We do not get off entirely, but He does sort matters out for us and provides a covering for our foolishness.
After Eve deviated from the path, we read what ensued and know that all was not lost. “Eve” means the mother of all living, and her seed would eventually bruise the head of the serpent; meanwhile, God provided a covering for both Adam and Eve.
Eve herself learned to focus on the blessing of God. When she begat Seth, she acknowledged he was given her by God in place of Abel (she now appreciates God’s gifts). Having learned the hard way the difference between God’s solid promises and fleshly illusion, she looked well to her household and we see the results in Seth — “then began men to call upon the name of the Lord.” Through him came the line of our spiritual forefathers and the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus has bruised the head of that subtle and misleading serpent and has made possible the regaining of paradise for those who believe and obey him.
What is our focus?
Are we focused in the right direction? It is important because we will go in the direction of our focus. We should be constantly examining ourselves, as we are so easily distracted and begin to look longingly at fleeting pleasures.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One