Living in Isolation – Part two

Dear Julie,

As I indicated in my last letter, I’ve got some more ideas about what you can do to help your family while living in isolation. We did all three of these things and they were very helpful in the spiritual development of our own family.

Area youth hostel

Christadelphian young people travel a lot and they’re often looking for a friendly place to stay. They like the company and, of course, the free room and maybe some meals are also an attraction.

Uncle Tom and I took advantage of just such a situation when we were courting. As you know, we come from different parts of the country. There was a lovely Christadelphian family about halfway between and we used their home as a meeting place. They were delighted to have us, for they were in isolation with a couple of young children.

Their hospitality became so well known that they had a steady stream of young people coming for weekends and even for week-long visits. Because of their open house, they rarely had a memorial meeting without visitors. And the brother, who feared he would have to exhort every week, had a guest speaker two out of three times.

This family did something else as well. When attending Bible schools or weekend gatherings, they made a point of inviting families to come visit them. Over the years, many people took them up on their invitation, especially those with younger children who needed to save money.

Even though we don’t live in isolation, we have done much the same thing with our home. The result has been that our youngsters have grown up knowing other Christadelphians far and wide.

In today’s world, we see people not just from around the country but also from around the world. This has paid quite a dividend as our own family finds they have contacts when they travel from here to England or Australia.

You may feel that opening your home so freely may have unacceptable consequences. There is a loss of privacy. I think you’ll find, however, that living in isolation, you’ll have more privacy than you want. There is a cost of extra food, supplies, etc. and the added wear and tear on your home. That is true but it needs to be offset against the great need for fellowship both for yourselves and the children.

There are things you can do to make hosting people a bit easier. Put towels, soap, food and dishes in obvious places so guests can help themselves rather than asking you for things. Signs are also helpful if you have some peculiar house problems. Young people in particular can often be accommodated on the floor with a mattress, sleeping bag and pillow and as long as there’s something to eat, meals don’t have to be fancy. Encourage Jeff to help with cleaning up after meals and putting things away.

Done right, turning your home into a Christadelphian hostel can ease some of the problem of being in isolation.

The half-way pickup

The other day, we were talking to a sister who regularly takes her daughter 75 miles to a meeting point where she is picked up by another mother who has driven the same distance. The second family lives in isolation and has a daughter about the same age. The two girls enjoy spending weekends together and this gives each of them a Christadelphian friend when otherwise they would have no one their age.

In this case, they take turns staying at one another’ s homes. In a situation we had, a family in isolation drove their youngster halfway toward our house where we met them, and their boy came to spend the weekend with us. Occasionally, one of our boys would go back with them. Since our ecclesia sponsored the youth circle activities, this plan helped their boy to attend regularly.

You may think nobody is going to go out of their way like that to help you out. Don’t be dismayed. First of all, it’s your child’s eternal welfare that’s at stake, so don’t be faint-hearted about putting someone out. Secondly, you’d be surprised at how many children in ecclesial areas don’t have a close friend their own age. They’re looking for uplifting friends just like you are.

When you have a youngster stay with you a few times, you’ll find they become much like a member of your own family. They expect you to apply the same standards to them as you do to your own children. So don’t compromise what you permit just because you have a visitor in the house.

Bible schools and gatherings

Perhaps it seems obvious to say that living in isolation makes attendance at Bible schools particularly important. Our experience has been that those coming from isolation or small ecclesias absolutely delight in the week of fellowship and Bible study. I think you’ll be very much of that mind. You might consider attending a new school every so often to broaden your associations and those of your children.

Study days and weekend gatherings should be highlighted on your calendar. Where you are going to live is within a six-hour drive of about four that are held regularly. When attending those events, deliberately take people up on their offers of hospitality so that you will become better acquainted with brethren and sisters.

As your children become old enough, encourage them to attend young people’s weekends. I know that you’ll have misgivings about driving safety and even about the quality of supervision. Obviously, you will have to exercise commonsense. But also exercise common faith. If you take normal precautions, trust our Heaven!) Father to provide safety during travel. And don’t be overly protective. You’ll often hear back from a young people’s gathering about some high-jinks. There will be problems but often they are considerably exaggerated. Most of the time, our youngsters act so much better than worldly groups that there is no comparison.

Handling the circumstance

The five points that I’ve mentioned to you are good for any Christadelphian family to follow but they are particularly important when you’re in isolation: 1) family activities, 2) the neighborhood center, 3) the area youth hostel, 4) the half way pickup, 5) Bible schools and gatherings.

God be with you in your circumstances. Keep up your faith and work at turning your problem into an opportunity for the spiritual development of your family.

Much love,
Aunt Sarah