“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband” (Prov. 12:4) is a summary statement that is later elaborated in Proverbs 31 as the wise man characterizes a woman whose value is far above rubies. The Hebrew word used for “virtuous” is powerful conveying strength, power, resourcefulness and moral virtue. Reading the description of the woman in Prov. 31, “resourceful” is a good one-word synopsis of the characteristics considered there.
The biblical wife and mother
While Proverbs 31 presents the broadest description, other scriptures confirm or add to the ideal. The biblical mother is one who teaches her children the law of God. We often think of this as the father’s job, but scripture indicates this is a function of both: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Prov. 1:8; 6:20). The mother no doubt taught the law to the children while the father worked the field or attended to civic duties. To do this, she would have to know the law; when the children asked a question, her response would not be, “ask your dad when he gets home” (cf. Prov. 31:1). When the father did come home, lessons might be given to emphasize the intent of the law or to clarify some points, but the instruction of the children was a family matter.
The virtuous woman openly loved her children (Prov. 4:3), comforted them (Isa. 66:13) and industriously provided for their daily needs (I Sam. 2:19). A good mother rejoices in the righteousness of her children and mourns in their waywardness. The mother is at the center of the family; her nurturing does not cease when the child is weaned.
Stress of modern family life
Since the turn of the century, there have been changes in family relationships in our society. Women have placed more emphasis on their personal growth and development and have expressed a greater desire for independence. Today, it is reasonably safe to say biblical family relationships rarely exist. Several factors have contributed to the modern situation:
- The stress of a materialistic society and the economic decision of many husbands often leads both men and women to work outside the home.
- This contributes to a man-woman work-style relationship. We now compete with work-place tensions carrying over into home life. Women are no longer regarded as genteel persons. The children are inevitably affected as they are placed with others for nurturing and do not see a biblical man-woman relationship at home.
- Higher education is stressed as each person feels compelled to reach their full intellectual potential or to qualify themselves for better jobs. (We know of several situations where the woman outgrew the man and moved on to someone more her intellectual equal.)
- People move cross-country for economic or other reasons, leaving their larger family circle behind. This often leaves the children with a feeling of having no roots.
- The Bible is rarely a part of family life. Whereas basic knowledge of Bible characters used to be a part of one’s general upbringing, now the Bible is crowded off the shelf by volumes of worldly literature or prevented from entering the mind by the ever-present TV and portable audio system.
Is it any wonder that there are problems in our society! The challenge for us is to keep these influences out of the ecclesia and out of our families. From time to time we see contemporary philosophy seep into our ecclesias; we see a certain preoccupation about women’s rights among us. We must hold to biblical standards in all of our relationships and look to the Bible for instruction in righteousness.
Advice to Corinth
The time of Paul was somewhat similar to our own. Women had a public, sometimes dominant role in Gentile life and their Jewish counterparts were not too far behind. It would not be uncommon to have a highly educated, verbal sister in the meetings. She would be used to having others listening to her and following her instructions. In the ecclesia, however, she would have to learn to play a different role.
The phrase which summarizes I Cor. 14 is, “let all things be done decently and in order” (v.40). A controversy had developed concerning the gift of foreign tongues. Paul told the brethren to speak in an orderly fashion. They were to be “silent” if there was no one present to interpret their speaking (v.28). The word “silent” occurs again in v.34 where it is the women who are instructed to “keep silence in the churches.” In both cases, the Greek word for silent is sigato. In v.34, the Greek is in the third person, plural, imperative form. Thus the instruction is emphatic that the women were to be silent in the congregation, the assembly, the gathering.
We do not wish to dogmatise on this point but we feel the following discussion is scriptural and may be useful.
The assembly being described is a formal gathering where members and outsiders could be instructed or edified. It was a time when “the whole congregation [may] come into one place” (v. 23, Emphatic Diaglott). This same context is alluded to in I Cor. 11: “your coming together in the assembly…your coming together to the same place…on coming together to eat” (vs. 18,20,33, Emph. Diag.).
The first century ecclesia may have broken bread anytime its members came together or there may have been some early distinctions made concerning their assemblies with some meetings being solely for Bible study. The Jews would meet in synagogues at times other than the Sabbath for the reading of the word and instruction. It is probable that distinctions were made in the form and substance of Christian assemblies, but the instruction concerning the participation of women in these meetings appears clear: “it is not permitted for them to speak” (14:34).
“To be under obedience”
This phrase probably alludes back to the Garden of Eden. The word rendered “obedience” is the Greek word hupolasso which means to obey or to subordinate oneself or submit to. Gen. 3:16 reads, “Unto the woman he said…thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” God condemned Adam because he “hearkened unto the voice of thy wife” (v.17). For this reason, the women should not only be covered in the assemblies, they should also keep silent.
There is no question of ability, desire or intent, simply the admonition to silence in the setting of the assembly. The role of men and women would therefore be clear. Outsiders, children and brothers and sisters would be able to see the difference. “It is a shame [something indecorous] for women to speak in the assembly” (v.35). Questions, comments and criticisms were to be held until one got home. The word for “to speak” is laleo which is straightforward and means to talk, to exercise the faculty of speech in declaration. There is no such restriction applied to participating in the singing of hymns; only to speaking, questioning, declaring.
I Timothy 2:11-15
This same matter is referred to again in Paul’s admonition to the Ephesian ecclesia through Timothy. “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” The word for “silence” is hesuchia which means quiet, tranquility, silence, silent attention. The stress seems to be on the attitude of tranquility or voluntary silence. “Subjection” is from a Greek word related to the word rendered “under obedience” in I Cor. 14:34.
Paul goes on to say, “I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” He cites the example of Adam and Eve in the garden where the woman is deceived by the serpent. The implication is that Eve did this on her own. She should have asked Adam or listened to him; she did not, and listening to the serpent instead, she transgressed. Furthermore, Adam was created first; she should not have assumed authority over the man.
Some objections
What about Priscilla and Deborah? Deborah was selected by God to judge Israel. She did not take the position because she felt uniquely qualified.
On several occasions, Priscilla is mentioned before her husband Aquila.
This may be because she was more active and well known. Priscilla was active in preaching the Truth to others. There is no restriction placed upon sisters in this regard, although we might encourage an attitude of submissiveness in dual preaching activities such as a Bible class in the home of interested friends.
There does not seem to be any biblical evidence to support sisters speaking or teaching when the whole assembly gathers together. In practice, there probably were and will continue to be exceptions. For example, a location where five sisters make up the ecclesia and then are joined by a newly baptized brother who was instructed by them. It would not be reasonable for the brother to immediately assume the role of teacher in Bible class with no comments or questions being offered by the sisters. But the exception does not eliminate the rule. Clearly, circumstances may alter cases, but exceptions should be practiced cautiously, keeping in mind Paul’s admonition and the reasons he gives.
As a general rule, sisters should keep silent at all assemblies where the whole ecclesia is invited to attend or at an assembly where outsiders may attend to hear the Truth explained. This practice places a responsibility on the brethren to be accurate and thorough in their presentations. In today’s world, it is difficult enough for sisters to follow biblical guidelines without worsening the situation by having them listen in silence to incorrect or inadequate material.
We must work together in not allowing the mores of the world to determine our standards. We should dedicate our efforts to pursue the biblical family structure, each accepting his responsibilities willingly and lovingly. We can if the word of God is the focal point of our families and our ecclesias.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One