Pertinent Comments on Family Life

Family Life in the Lord

On successive days, editorial writers for the Wall Street Journal made pointed comments in relation to family life. We feel sections of their editorials deserve our consideration.
The first extract is by George Gilder who, stimulated by events surrounding the Million Man March, comments under the heading, "The Roots of Black Poverty" (WSJ 10/30/95). The second extract is from an article titled, "Me Generation' Parents Should Grow Up" by Ann Symonds (WSJ, 10/31/95).

The Great Fiasco

“Even Margaret Mead recognized that in all cultures family values depend on religious supports and male providers. The effort to inculcate ethical behavior and sustain marriage without religious faith is the great fiasco of the modern age. In order to relieve the pain of the poor, our society must come to recognize that their problem is not lack of jobs or lack of money, but moral anarchy originating with the establishment and most sorely victimizing blacks.

“With both the black and white establishments and even the leading Christian churches succumbing to the siren appeal of unisex policy, what could be more predictable than the emergence of patriarchal religion -­however offensive in some ways — as a galvanizing force among black men. If Mr. Farrakhan is deeply culpable for his ethnic fanaticism, surely the entire

From “Me Generation’ Parents Should Grow Up”

“What do we want? For middle class Americans the trade-off is between more material goods or more time at home with our offspring. When we insist on a bedroom for every child, drop $25 for a quick family meal at McDonald’s, join a health

U.S. establishment is equally culpable for its fanatical assault on family roles. For all races, patriarchal religion has played a central role in human civilization. Patriarchal black churches -­from Father Divine’s mid-century movement to Christian fundamentalists and Black Muslims today — have served more as part of the solution than as part of the problem of black poverty.

“These lessons have become increasingly relevant to whites who imagine that they can sustain a civilization based on secular liberation from monogamous sex roles. As the white illegitimacy rates move toward the level reached by blacks at the time of the Moynihan Report — and decisively surpasses it in Britain — the events of recent weeks should ring a tocsin for all Americans.”

Mr. Gilder is a senior fellow at Se­attle’ s Discovery Institute.

club, update our wardrobe or buy a second VCR or camcorder, we need to ask ourselves, is this accumulation of material goods the priority we want to impart to our children? Or should we pare the family budget, cut back on two full-time careers and devote those extra hours to guiding our children and organizing the schools, churches and other institutions to best serve our children’s needs, rather than hankering after falls that so recently have crept into the ‘necessity’ category in our lives?

“This is hardly deprivation. If we look back, I suspect many of us will remember a childhood of more time with Mom and Dad and fewer material goods. How many times did you go out for fast food as a kid? Did your sneakers come with flashing lights? How many movies did you see in any one year? It adds up fast. If this is where even a part of these second incomes are going, we have some serious thinking to do.

“At the same time, it would be naive to deny that a maturing U.S. economy, global competition and the changing structure of the job market have flattened — or for some families, even reversed — the upward trend in real wages that prevailed in our parents’ generation. For some families, two full-time workers may be the only alternative to genuine hardship. But this should be the last resort.

“The issues are no different for the well-off, who are hardly pinched by a trade-off between a second VCR and a second parent at work. Parents who can afford it — maybe because of that second income — often opt for expensive private schools, trying to buy with money the outcome that only their time can ensure. And if their child fails, they can blame the name-brand institution rather than themselves. Unless they work with their children and school, they, too, are abdicating parental responsibility.

“Sometimes less is more. Twenty years from now our children will be grown. Will they remember that extra pair of Reebok’s paid for by the second full-time paycheck? Or will they remember the many times Mom or Dad curled up with them on the sofa to talk over a problem, expected good manners and polite behavior, reviewed their homework each and every evening and pitched in to pull together a scouting or athletic program?

“Your choice.”

Ms. Symonds writes from home in Arlington, VA. She is the mother of three young children.