The Hearts of the Fathers

By now it must be obvious to all thinking people, especially in North America, that the major scourge of modern civilization is the breakdown of the family. The problems of illegitimacy and fatherless families dominate the social agenda of most large cities. It even overshadows the lives of many families in peaceful seaside communities like Brentwood Bay, BC. The social and economic costs are staggering. It has undermined the very fabric of western civilization.

Some of the causes

The causes are many and complex. Some, however, are not so difficult to see.

• The removal of belief in God as the supernatural creator and designer from the the daily conscience. When we remove the supernatural moral absolute, then, anything goes.
• The humanistic gospel of self-worth and self-focus that places the narrow interests of the individual ahead of the interests of others, especially the family.
• The enshrining of personal “rights” into constitutional law as has been largely the case in recent western experience.
• The constant predatory attack by media and music against traditional standards of human behavior and the delight of the above in constantly, relentlessly pushing back the barriers and taboos. Adults, as well as children, inevitably absorb the hedonistic lifestyle portrayed and begin to see it as normal.
• The fashionable psychological industry that has knowingly promoted divorce as being redemptive in strained relationships — even for the children.
• The outrage and blasphemies uttered by many high church officials that compromise the standards of moral decency and function.

Bishop countenances promiscuity

One of the more ridiculous comments went on the national news wire recently quoting the Anglican Bishop of Edinburgh, Richard Holloway. His comments illustrate how far the mainline churches have fallen from grace: “God knew when he made us that he had given us promiscuous genes…I think it would be wrong for the church to condemn people who have followed their instincts.” What nonsense!

An editorial in the Victoria Times Colonist (May 21, 1995) made a challenging comment: “What is truly unfortunate about the diminishing influence of churches in Canadian life is that today’s society needs moral guidance more than ever.” How appropriate and timely.

Psychologists rethinking theories

While the church has abrogated its moral responsibility, some leading psychologists are having second thoughts. In a new and ground-breaking book, Soul Searching: Why Psychotherapy Must Promote Moral Responsibility, Dr. Walter Dorherty gives full weight to the positive outcome of responsibility and commitment. In a recent interview, Dorherty commented, “Psychologists tell you to do what’s best for you, and the kids will be fine but we’re reconsidering that. Considering the kids’ needs is an ethically important and morally relevant idea. It’s not only what’s right for you. We’ve only celebrated the autonomous individual; we need to look at commitment, justice, faithfulness and community” (Times Colonist, May 18, 1995). Some of them are finally coming to their senses.

This is not a new idea. It speaks directly to whom we are as human beings, how we function best as societies and what we were created for.

What the doctor may not be prepared to admit, but needs to be in any case, is that, when we talk about responsibility, we are talking about creation and design.

Sound families essential

The principles of dad, mom and children are the principles that build civilizations. These ideals are the stuff that strong and secure future generations are made of. The selfish promotion of broken homes and lives only brings a curse that becomes, for the most part, hereditary and generational. That the sins of the fathers are visited on the children to the third and fourth generation is a divine principle.

Further, a number of Bible prophecies point forward to a world where these conditions prevail. The frame of reference is the “last days.” “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (II Tim. 3:14 NIV as all quotes).

It is noteworthy that, in the above, “lovers of themselves” precedes “disobedient to parents.” There is a direct cause and effect. The fifth of the 10 commandments adds insight: “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Deut. 5:16). Significantly, Paul notes “This is the first commandment with a promise” (Eph. 6:2). When correct relationships are developed within the family, a blessing follows.

Jewish tradition

In Jewish tradition, the most obvious sign of the much-anticipated redemption is unity between the generations. But before this happens, there will be a moral plague of epidemic proportions that would manifest itself through family breakdown.

In the Jerusalem Post (April 8, 1995), Rabbi Riskin outlined this ancient tradition which is based on the words of Malachi: “I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse” (Mal. 4:5-6). Rabbi Riskin rightly concludes that when we heal the family we heal the world. This is the future mission of Elijah to the Jewish people.

Further, in the Jewish tradition, parents have the personal responsibility for instructing their children. The tradition is well-founded on scripture: “Hear 0 Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 6:4-8).

These words speak clearly of family fellowship. Children need to be instructed in the correct ways. They need family and instruction. If parents fail to provide an adequate base for this, children will seek family, fellowship and instruction on the street.

The hearts of the fathers the key

If parents are pursuing selfish causes in life, children will be neglected. Children will suffer. Children will rebel. Generation gaps will occur and the plague will be upon us as it already is.

But according to the words of the prophet, the change must take place first in the hearts of the fathers. If and when it happens in the hearts of fathers, the children will respond and the world will be healed. There is a coming work of redemption about to take place. The world will be redeemed and with it the families.

In the meantime, we need more fathers who will be courageous in commitment and responsibility. Fathers who will put their families on notice that when it comes to godly principles, there will be no compromise, no vote and little negotiation as to who will set clear guidelines of principle and practice. Fathers who will stand with Joshua of old are the key, fathers who will proclaim, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”