AS disciples, everyone of us, whether mothers, wives or single sisters, we may sometimes feel that we have little opportunity to make choices in our lives. Our time seems to be completely determined by the needs of others whether it be our children, husbands, employers or ecclesias. Yet when we stop and closely consider the point, there are a lot of areas in which we have the freedom to make decisions. The choices we make in these areas will not only reflect how we are doing from the standpoint of our spiritual growth but in many cases will have a significant impact on those around us.
Everyday choices — what to wear
What we choose to wear or the clothes we provide for our families is an everyday choice that may seem quite apart from spiritual values. Yet if we are concerned about staying up with the latest style or constantly seeking to change our wardrobe or that of our family, we are reflecting a wrong set of priorities. To consistently provide our children with everything they want robs them of the opportunity to develop hope and patient waiting.
For one thing, it means we have to be aware of current trends which calls for endlessly watching ads or window shopping. For another, it can mean unnecessarily spending a lot of money on clothing. In fact, there can be some real harm being done to our children if we are teaching them to place great emphasis on how attractive they look to their friends.
We have a choice in this matter. We can deliberately choose to wear modest, tasteful and moderately priced clothes — nobody is forcing us to do otherwise.
Everyday choices — how to act
As we know, there are certain constraints on how we drive a car and on other things that are matters of the law of the land. If we have a job, we must act responsibly or we will be let go. Our children must maintain proper performance at school and we need to act appropriately with respect to the ecclesia.
Beyond a certain minimum level of conduct, however, we have a very broad range of choice as to how we speak, the attitudes we exhibit and the things we do. On a daily basis, we are interacting with our spouse, children, employees and friends, all of whom are sometimes difficult to get along with.
We can be pleasant and cooperative or spiteful and mean. We can say good things about other people or talk about all their faults. We can be loving and patient with our children or quick-tempered and erratic. We can be considerate and kind to our partners or thoughtless and irritable.
There will often be times when we have an opportunity to bear the burdens of another “and so fulfill the law of Christ.” When that opportunity occurs, we can help the other person “in the spirit of meekness.” Sometimes he may need our money, time or skills, but in most situations he needs attention, love and kindness. We have the choice to offer a helping hand in many ways.
This may be especially true of our partners and children. There is the story of the son who came to his parent with a bruise on his arm. There really wasn’t anything the parent could do from a medical point of view so he waved the child away with a brusque response. When the child dissolved in tears, the parent implored, What do you except me to do?”. The child replied: “You could’ve said, Ouch!”
Many a time our family does not want an elaborate remedy, just a little loving sympathy. We have the choice to give them that or brusquely wave them away.
Everyday choices — how to spend our time
While our lives may seem very busy, there are usually a number of activities that are optional. Our children do not have to be so involved in school, etc. that they have no time for the readings or Sunday School lessons. We don’t have to have a boat that takes us away from the ecclesia on weekends. We are not required to have an elaborate garden that keeps us away from family and brothers and sisters.
What sometimes will amaze us is what we have time to do when we become highly motivated to obtain some new objective. All of a sudden we can squeeze in a school class that is leading to job advancement or have time to start an exercise program.
If we can do these things, how come we haven’t been doing the readings for several weeks? Maybe it’s more a matter of a deliberate choice on our part than we would care to admit. And we need to remember that one day we will stand before the judgment seat of Christ. When that day comes, we’ll be very thankful if we have made good choices as to the use of our time.
Everyday choices — what to watch
If we spend a lot of time doing housework, we may have the radio or TV on to keep us company. We have a deliberate choice as to what we’re watching and listening to.
It can be frightening to realize the effect that our choices can have. If we have on soap operas and talk shows, we will find that our own minds begin to think like the people we’re watching. In many cases, these shows cater to the carnal mind and are sensationalistic. It doesn’t take long before our own resolve to do right is weakened and we can even start to think the fantasy world on TV is the real world.
It’s our choice as to what we watch. We can have hymns and Bible school talks playing on a tape-recorder. And now there are videotapes of all kinds of spiritually healthy material. We make the choice. Nobody is forcing us as to what we watch.
The big choice
The big choice we need to make is whether or not we want to be in the kingdom of God. Of course, we all would say we want to be, but we need to decide whether we want it badly enough to make the sacrifices now that serving Christ involves.
A most helpful factor is God desires to give us the kingdom. He will help us get there if we want it enough. “And this is the confidence that we have in him that, if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us. And if we know that he hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him” (I John 5:14-15).
Though our lives may seem very busy and our time not our own, when it comes right down to it — it’s our choice. Let’s make the right ones.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One