Kindness

The Desire of Man

Kindness of character is a rare and blessed attribute. There is an interesting proverb that speaks directly to this in Proverbs 19:22, it reads: “The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.” Now, on the surface it might not be clear how this fits but if we look closer we will see that this proverb actually teaches us about two kinds of kindness, one that is a kindness of convenience and the other that is a kindness of character. First, the proverb speaks about how attractive kindness is. It states that what makes a man desirable is his kindness. Desirable doesn’t necessarily mean physical attraction, but refers to what draws people to an individual. Consider the Lord Jesus Christ. Isaiah 53:2 tells us that, “he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.” Yet the Lord Jesus Christ was (and is) an extremely desirable individual. Surely, what draws people to him the most are his abundant acts of kindness like feeding of the hungry, healing the sick, raising the dead and speaking words of comfort and consolation to those in need. And, most importantly, no greater act of kindness can anyone ever do than to give up his life for his friends.

But the proverb goes on to tell us that not all acts of kindness are equal for it reads “…and a poor man is better than a liar.” Again, on the surface this phrase poses a number of problems for us because ‘a poor man’ is not naturally contrasted with ‘a liar’. Nor is it easy to see what correlation there is between either of them and the kindness that is mentioned at the start of the proverb. But once we stop and think about it the message becomes clear.

The ‘liar’ here is referring to someone who’s kind because it’s convenient. We see this often times with sports stars and celebrities. They may be kind because life is very, very good to them. They have an abundance of wealth, fame, respect, even adoration and as a result they can be very kind in their every day dealing with people (and which makes them very desirable to their fans). There was an article recently about a certain powerful media tycoon who happens to have a very lavish and debauched lifestyle. The crux of the article was about the fact that despite his lifestyle, those who know him say he’s a very kind and generous person. Yet, in actual fact, why wouldn’t he be? We would never condone his lifestyle, yet from a worldly perspective he’s got everything. He’s got all the power, wealth, fame and women any carnal man could ever want, and he never has to get out of his pajamas to enjoy it. The LoRD calls that kind of kindness a lie; because take away the comforts, and the kindness would leave with it. We’ve seen this truth revealed repeatedly lately with many professional athletes who, by every worldly reckon­ing, seem like kind people, until they find themselves in the throes of athletic competition and then they completely lose their composure and their total sense of decency. Invariably, they will say after they’ve come to their senses ‘That wasn’t me’ or ‘I’m just competitive, that’s all’, but as the comic strip character Pogo once said it so eloquently “We have seen the enemy and it is us.” When they lose that comfort zone, the veneer of kindness is lost as well.

In contrast to ‘the liar’ the proverb says it’s better to be a poor man. In this context the ‘poor man’ refers to the man who is poor in spirit, like the individual Jesus was considering when he said “Blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall see God.” The one who is poor in spirit is strong in his respect and concern for others, because it is their needs and not his own that is at the forefront of his thoughts and actions. We can’t prove the existence of Jesus Christ to skeptics. Yet the Lord’s existence in our lives should be reflected by a change in our character to one that reflects the kindness of the Lord Jesus Christ. His kindness surely did not come from the abundance of creature comforts he enjoyed, because he didn’t have any. As Isaiah tells us “we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.” Instead, his kindness came from a deep, sacrificial love for us “But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” If the kindness we show reflects the humble, poor in spirit character of Jesus Christ, then others will see the sincerity of it and be attracted to it.

Barzillai

There is an example in the life of David that shows just this type of kindness and it’s found in the character of a man named Barzillai, who came to David in Gilead as David was fleeing from Absalom. Along with two other men, Barzillai brought to David a huge supply of provisions because they said “The people is [are] hungry, and weary, and thirsty, in the wilderness” (2Sam 17:29). This act of kindness by Barzillai overwhelmed David because Barzillai had no other ulterior motive than to help people in need. It wasn’t that Barzillai was taking sides in David’s conflict with Absalom. Despite the fact that he brought a great amount of supplies, he didn’t bring him any military provisions. Instead he brought very necessary but very neutral supplies like beds and food. Later, when Barzillai met the king, as he was returning to Jerusalem after Absalom’s defeat, David offered Barzillai a seat at his royal table but Barzillai, who was an old man, refused saying “How long have I to live, that I should go up with the king unto Jerusalem?…Let thy servant, I pray thee, turn back again, that I may die in mine own city, and be buried by the grave of my father and of my mother”( 2Sam. 19:34;37). Instead Barzillai offered to David his servant Chimham, to serve David in whatever way David saw fit. David accepted the servant of Barzillai and we learn later that he commissioned that servant to serve others in the exact same way that Barzillai had served him. It isn’t until hundreds of years later that we hear about Chimham again and it’s recorded in the 41st chapter of the prophecies of Jeremiah.

Chimham

The events that Jeremiah recorded took place during the chaotic period after Jerusalem had been sacked, when Jeremiah was being passed from of one rebel leader to another. Eventually, he ended up in the custody of a man by the name of Johanan who was fleeing to Egypt to get away from the wrath of the king of Babylon. The record in Jeremiah 41:17-18 says: “And they departed and dwelt in the habitation of Chimham, which is near Bethlehem, as they went on their way to Egypt, because of the Chaldeans”. That means that although they were fleeing from the mighty Chaldeans, and it would have been quite difficult at this point to determine who was on whose side; still they were able to find refuge at the habitation of Chimham, which was located right by Bethlehem, David’s home town. Apparently, David had taken that servant of Barzillai, given him a piece of his own land, and commissioned him to build an inn. And it was to be an inn for weary travelers, no matter who they were, no matter what were their affiliations. It would be a refuge for people in need, in the same spirit as the selfless act of Barzillai. Chimham built that inn and it was still standing and still serving those in need hundreds of years later when Jeremiah and the band with Johanan came in need of refuge.

Bethlehem

But is that the end of the story? A few hundred years later there were another couple of weary travelers who came to an inn in Bethlehem looking for refuge in their time of need. Their names were Joseph and Mary. (It has even been specu­lated that this was in fact the inn at Chimham.) At that time, the inn was full, but it wasn’t full just because so many descendants of David had come to take the census, but because it was the ‘fullness of time’; a time when the spiritual weari­ness of the people was at its fullest. And, although it was full, Joseph and Mary were not turned away, just as no one ever got turned away from the habitation of Chimham. Instead, the innkeeper made a place of comfort for them in the stable out back providing for them in smaller measure the very same food and bedding that Barzillai provided for David so many centuries before. And it was there, in the stable behind that inn, that the Lord Jesus Christ was born.

Now, maybe you think this analogy has gone too far, and maybe it has, but consider this: the name Chimham means ‘to long for’ or ‘pining’, and there was no day in all recorded history more longed for than the day that child was born. The prophets and faithful men of old longed for that day; Simeon and Anna worshipped at the temple longing for that day, the wise men in the east searched the stars and pondered Daniel’s prophecies longing for that day, and the angels in heaven so longed for that day that when it came one of the most magnificent sights ever to be seen on earth took place, for it says: “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!”( Luke 2:13-14).

Every disciple of Christ should ask themselves this question: Is their spiritual house a habitation of Chimham? Are their doors open to the weary traveler no matter what? Is the kindness we display individually and as a community a reflection of the humble spirit that Barzillai displayed; that kept the habitation of Chimham running for so many years and that Jesus displayed in sacrificing himself for us on the cross? Or is it a kindness based on convenience? Nice and comfortable in our weekly worship service, nice and comfortable in our weekly Bible class and social gatherings; nice and comfortable in our acts of kindness with no true humility to support it? God forbid! Instead, let us be ‘poor in spirit’ esteeming others better than ourselves, and displaying a kindness to others that’s so powerful that it brings those who experience it to ask us about the hope that lies within our hearts. Let us show, by our kindness, that we are a refuge for the weary traveler, so that our habitations may be as full as the Habitation of Chimham, when that next ‘longed for’ day arrives and our Lord comes to dwell with us forever.