Dealing with the Bully

Nearly every parent, who is also a disciple of Christ, has a problem in telling their child how to deal with the youngster who bullies them. We want our children to practice right conduct from an early age so that they find it much easier to serve Christ when they become adults. We read the Master’s instruction, “I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matt. 5:39). And we wonder how far we should go in placing such a constraint on our children.

In their young years, we know they will face bullies who will physically hit them. What do we tell our children to do?

It helps to realize the Lord is here using the teaching method of hyperbole (teaching by exaggeration for effect). When he was smitten, he did not invite a second blow. “One of the officers which stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, Answerest thou the high priest so? Jesus answered him, If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil: but if well, why smitest thou me?” (John 18:22­,23).

The Lord could have struck the man dead. He did not retaliate, but he did not literally turn the other cheek.

One sister who faced the problem handled it in the following manner:

Years ago, when my children were quite young, we lived in an apartment where there were many children in the immediate area.

Across the drive there was a family who had a little boy a year or so older than my oldest child. He was a bully. He threw rocks, teased, hit and just generally made a terror of himself.

I spent a few weeks watching him and the other children. Suddenly one day, observing the bully was always alone, I had an idea. My son was to celebrate his third birthday in a few days. I had planned a party but had not considered inviting the “terror.” Now I thought about it, wondering what would happen if he were included. That day, I sent an invitation for him to his mother.

The birthday arrived and our apartment was ready for the party. Balloons and paper runners hung about the ceiling. Games were set up to be played; prizes were wrapped; ice cream and cake were waiting to be consumed.

Our young guests, along with their mothers, started to arrive — including our little “terror.” Everyone was ready for a great time, and a great time it turned out to be.

After this day, the bully stopped being a terror. He became an accepted playmate and protector. There was never again a problem.

When we moved a year later, I was sad to say “good-bye.”

I often reflect on that event and the impact it had on young Mr. Terror, especially when I read of our Lord saying, “Love your enemies.”