Some people are known to possess a strong view on just about any subject, whatever it may be! One would never hear them say, “Sorry, I don’t know much about that”, or simply, “I don’t know.” Instead they just launch themselves into their response, without a moment’s hesitation!
Obviously none of us would like to be viewed in such a way. If we knew that people thought we were like this then, no doubt, we would feel somewhat embarrassed. We therefore need to weigh up and evaluate what we say to each other — both in terms of the words we use and the manner in which we communicate them. The Book of Proverbs offers many constructive guidelines to assist us. Here are just a few to mull over in our minds:
- Sometimes the wisest course of action is actually to remain silent (11:12; 17:27,28). Patience and restraint are both key components of wisdom. A wise person knows enough to keep silent when there is nothing to say. Restraint in speech is a mark of true wisdom.
- Talking about others — especially after being entrusted with something private and confidential — is wrong (11:13). A faithful friend conceals a private matter but an unfaithful one reveals it. The unfaithful one gathers personal secrets and then acts as a gossiper, going from house to house, spreading strictly confidential information (cp. 1 Tim. 5:13).
- Often it’s not so much what we say, but the manner in which we say it, that causes problems (15:1,2). Words can achieve very noble ends. A wise person will use his words to strengthen, encourage, and edify — speaking “a word in season” (Isa. 50:4). Kind words, gentle expressions, delivered with compassion and understanding, can often defuse a heated, and potentially volatile, situation. For instance, the Ephraimites were appeased by Gideon’s mild reply (Judg. 8) and David by Abigail’s reverent manner (1 Sam. 25). But sneering, arrogant, and overbearing words can stir up a hornet’s nest! Just think of the damage caused by the explosive words spoken by Nabal to David’s servants, or Rehoboam to the people of Israel (1 Kings 12). Hence, these two different approaches can result in two very different outcomes!
- Being a good listener is something we should all try hard to become (18:2). Compulsive talkers never listen! They desire to publicly display their knowledge and understanding — to parade and showcase their talents — so that they may be thought of as being wise and intelligent. In reality, they merely expose themselves as arrogant and ignorant!
- Our mouths can get us into trouble, so we need to watch what we say (18:6,7). A mark of a fool is his contentious and aggressive character. A fool constantly goads others for a fight! A fool will even try to defend himself — attempting to preserve his tarnished reputation — but instead will end up uttering things that, frankly, should not be spoken! So he becomes further and further entangled. His foolish words will eventually destroy him, for every idle word spoken will be judged at the Judgment Seat by the Lord Jesus Christ (cp. Matt. 12:35).
- Before an opinion is expressed we need to have all the facts at hand; otherwise, we will bring shame upon ourselves (18:13). The fool is impatient. He interrupts before all the information has been presented, and then acts upon it in a rash and thoughtless way! He responds without weighing up the situation and thinking through the implications of his decided course of action. He ends up judging a particular brother or sister on a specific matter, or taking a certain line or viewpoint before being in possession of all the hard facts. The lesson is that we are to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (Jam. 1:19).
So here we have a number of valuable guidelines on how we should speak and behave with each other. They will help to ensure that our spoken words are always “with grace” and “seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6). Indeed, all our words are to be pure, wholesome and well balanced. This is to be our lifetime endeavour and aspiration. And if a situation ever arises that calls upon us to be silent, then we should be prepared to hold our tongue.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One