Dear Anna and Andy,
The other day there was an article in the paper about schools supplying instruction in moral values. The opening paragraphs went like this: “Should public schools teach morality to children?
“A growing number of parents, worried that their children aren’t building good character, are pushing educators to cram moral lessons into the already crowded school day. But school districts are finding that many teachers are opposed to the task and play hooky when assigned such classes.
“About 84% of public school parents want moral values taught in school, and 68% want educators to develop strict standards of ‘right and wrong,’ according to a Gallup Poll.”
Not the school’s job
While in today’s world any emphasis on moral values may seem like a good idea, moral instruction is not the school’s job, it is the parent’s. Certainly, in order to function, schools have to teach responsibility to do assignments, they must enforce honesty to avoid cheating and they must teach respect for the person and property of other people to avoid anarchy. But beyond that, we’re better off if they leave morals alone.
Our whole approach is from the standpoint of what God wants. When it comes to holiness between man and woman, our emphasis is not on what is safe, healthy or socially beneficial but on the standards of God. Where goals in life are concerned, we are overwhelmingly concerned about obtaining the kingdom, not about financial success, personal prestige or job security. We are interested in our girls being godly women, not in being aggressive feminists. We want our boys to put the well-being of others ahead of their own, not establish their own superiority. We are not primarily concerned with saving this generation from pollution, poverty and nuclear war but in helping some individuals be saved from the pollution of sin and death.
Our whole orientation is different from even solid, well-meaning citizens of the world.
The parent’s job
We want to handle the moral instruction of our children. That is right and that is scriptural. In Israel, instruction of the children was not a responsibility of the Levites, it was the job of the parents. When questions came up about the meaning of Passover or of dedicating the firstborn, the parents were to provide the answers (Ex. 12:26-27; 13:14). Parents were to have the word of God in their hearts so they could “teach them diligently unto thy children” (Deut. 6:7). The Psalmist wrote that God established a testimony and appointed a law “which he commanded our fathers that they should make them (the praises of God) known to their children” (Psa. 78:5). Proverbs begins with the admonition: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Prov. 1:8). Father and mother were to provide sound education in the way of God.
Nothing has changed under Christ,for fathers are told, “provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
If it is right that the job is ours, then we’ve got to do it. The same article that I quoted earlier went on to say that parents average 15 minutes per week of meaningful dialog with their children. That’s 15 minutes a week, not a day. That meaningful dialogue time includes discussion of personal, school and family matters as well as morality. So where do children get their values from? The article responds, from “peers and television.”
We can’t let that happen to our children. We’ve got to spend time talking to our children about standards and values. Doing the readings with them provides an excellent opportunity in this regard. But the passage in Deuteronomy instructs us that that should not be the only time: “when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” are all times when the word in our hearts should be on our lips instructing our children.
What about Sunday school?
Sunday school can be a big help. The lessons provide subject matter for discussion and helping children with homework gives opportunity for our input. But God did not give Sunday school teachers the primary responsibility for the instruction of our children. That job is ours.
Others can be a big help! Grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends can all have a useful influence. Naomi instructed Ruth, her daughter-in-law; older sisters were told to teach the younger ones (Tit. 2:4); the schools of the prophets instructed many young men in Israel. There is an interesting word in I Tim. 5 :10 : “She have brought up children” is translated from one Greek word which means to raise children but not necessarily to bear and raise them. Thus a single or barren sister can help bring children up even though she has none of her own.
The Sunday school and other brethren and sisters play a particularly important part when both parents are not in the Truth. If neither parent is in the Truth, then obviously the burden really falls on the Sunday school teacher or the Christadelphian relative or friend. But that’s not your situation. In your case, you have the advantage of both of you knowing the way of God and it’s your responsibility to teach it to your children.
I’m no teacher
You may not be as good as some people, but you’re good enough for this job. You can teach your children a lot about proper talk, good food and developing independence and you can also teach them the elements of the gospel and the moral standards of God.
Of course, you may have to do a little study yourself. But what’s wrong with that? In fact, that’s one of the great advantages of our having the responsibility to teach the Truth to our own children. It gives us a constant incentive for Bible study and paying attention when we’ re doing the readings.
Since mothers normally have the most involvement with their children, the divine method provides for them an ongoing interested friends class. The divine structure thus ends up working for the salvation of the parents as well as the children.
Much love,
Dad
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One