The Parables of Jesus – (Part 6) – The Wedding Banquet

Parables On Marriage

A few years ago, the Writer was staying a few days in the Arab portion of Jerusalem (this was prior to 1967, and the iron fence divided Jerusalem into Arab and Jewish sec­tions with the Mandelbaum Gate connecting the two), and got quite friendly with one of the Arab taxi drivers, so much so, he invited us to his house to take coffee with him one morning, which we were pleased to do. (We learned later that a more bitter insult cannot be offered an Arab than to refuse to have coffee with h:m.)

He told us many Arabs were emigrating to Europe, for they were tired of the ancient restrictions by which they were still bound, especially with regard to before and after marriage. Brides were still selected for them and they had no voice in the choice. They were not allowed to see the bride before the wed­ding. The taxi man complained they wanted to go “courting” like they did in Western lands, and cut away from the centuries-old traditions.

We found this most interesting, for what still prevails among the Arabs is very similar to Jewish customs in the days of Christ. The late James Neil was quite an authority on ancient Jewish marriage customs, and he sum­marises them under seven heads, some of which are evident in the parables Jesus gave. These are:-

1. Marriage among Jews was almost uni­versal. There was no such thing as voluntary celibacy, except among special sects like the Essenes.
2. Nobody thought of choosing a partner: marriages were arranged for young people by their relatives.
3. Marriage was at an early age, often 11 or 12. It could be as early as nine.
4. First cousins were chosen for preference (there was no fear of inbreeding).
5. The wife was paid for.
6. No preliminary courtship.
7. It was said proverbially, “Love comes after marriage, not before”.

The marriage supper was almost invariably a very lavish affair, and usually took place in the house of the husband’s family. It was a big disgrace if the provisions gave out and hence the consternation when the wine gave out at the marriage feast in Cana, and which embarrassment Jesus was able to remove.

The wedding was preceded (usually by about 12 months) by the betrothal, which was re­garded as being as binding as the wedding, and also as sacred as the wedding. Also, some time before the wedding, the bridegroom had to pay the dowry. At the actual wedding there was the wedding procession, in which the bridegroom fetched his bride to their future home. If the pair were poor, the procession was utilised to take a collection, the proceeds of which were very useful in a variety of ways when setting up housekeeping. The procession was usually a very hilarious affair and even today is still a part of the ceremonies. Then this was fol­lowed by the wedding feast, to which reference has already been made.

Some of the references are a little difficult to reconcile with the usually accepted customs. To help, David Smith (in his “In the Days of His Flesh”) has a footnote which reads: “Some­times the wedding ceremony was in the bride’s home, the bridegroom providing the feast; sometimes it was in the bridegroom’s house, and he escorted the bride thither from her home”. (In the study of all the parables of Jesus, the book “Parables of the Messiah”, by Bro. John Carter, will be found very helpful. It is available from the Christadelphian office.)

We have references to the marriage customs in three of the parables of Jesus, the first being references to the bridegroom; the second to the wedding feast; and the final one is that of the 10 virgins. We find references to the parabolic use of the bridegroom in both Old and New Testaments, and in the Old Testa­ment frequently God himself is referred to as the bridegroom and Israel as the bride.

In the New Testament, the figure is used first by John the Baptist, and we have the same incident referred to in Matt. 9:15, Mark 2:19, and Luke 5:34. The occasion was when discussion arose when the disciples of John came to Jesus with the query “Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?” Jesus replied, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bride­groom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.” And immediately Jesus follow­ed by saying, “No one puts a piece of un-shrunk cloth on an old garment . . . neither is new wine put into old wineskins”; for in either case, disaster results. The Law had waxed old and was ready to vanish away, and its customs such as fasting were ready to vanish away with it.

In the reference, Jesus is the bridegroom and the wedding guests were, primarily, those invited to the wedding, but in the outworking of things — by one of the little delightful introversions — those “wedding guests” will become the bride, the lamb’s wife. Ultimately, the bridegroom was taken away and then the time of “fasting” began, not the literal fasting by abstaining from food, but rather the sad­ness consequent upon being deprived of the company of their Lord, and also the persecu­tion which often accompanied it.

There is a somewhat similar reference in John 3:28. There John the Baptist tells his hearers: ” … he who has the bride is the bride­groom; the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice, therefore this joy of mine is now full. He must increase, but I must de­crease”. John the Baptist was “the friend of the bridegroom” which was a very responsible position. In the ordinary way of things he was the one who arranged for the wedding to take place, arranging for the interview with the bride’s parents and also the bride herself, although she had little voice in the matter. He was also the one who had to announce “Behold the bridegroom cometh, go ye out to meet him”.

John fulfilled this duty very thoroughly, as Isaiah 40:3-5 forecast. John came with the message, “Repent for the king is at hand”. They queried “Are you the king?” “No”, he replied, “I am (as spoken by Isaiah) the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight”. John fulfilled his mission faithfully and well, and the way was prepared.

The parable of the marriage feast is in Matt. 22:1-14 and is exclusive to Matthew, appro­priately so, seeing it is the marriage of the kings son. This reads, “And Jesus answered and spake unto them again by parables, and said, The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, and sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come. Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage. But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise: and the remnant took his servants and entreated them spitefully, and slew them. But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.

“Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy. Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the mar­riage. So those servants went out into the high­ways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wed­ding was furnished with guests. And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: and he saith unto him, Friend, how earnest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.

“Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weep­ing and gnashing of teeth. For many are called but few are chosen.”

Verses 2 to 7 deal exclusively with the invi­tation to Jewry. This automatically has its basis in the Old Testament language. Initially the invitation was issued by John the Baptist and confirmed by Jesus, but they would not respond, and the most peurile of excuses were offered for their inability to accept.

After Jesus had ascended to heaven, the apostles continued the invitation. Their message was always to the Jew first, and then, as Paul said, “Because ye thrust it from you, we turn to the Gentiles”. The ‘shameful treating’ and even ‘killing’ was by no means absent, as the Acts of the Apostles bears abundant evidence. Finally, however, the forbearance of God was stretched beyond the point of no return, and “the king was angry, he sent his troops, and destroyed those murderers and burned up their city”. Just like earlier God said of Nebuchad­nezzar, “He is my servant”, even so now the armies of Rome were ‘his troops’ and they fulfilled God’s will in burning up and destroy­ing Jerusalem.Up to this point, since the death, resurrec­tion and ascension, to A.D.70 had been a period of transition, but now the em­phasis was on inviting the Gentiles to the marriage feast, and this received a tremendous impetus by the work of the Apostle Paul and his associates. They went into “the highways and byways”, travelling thousands of miles in order that they might fulfil their Lord’s com­mand, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature … ” “They gathered all whom they found, both good and bad, and the wedding was furnished with guests”.

In our day, this process is nearly complete. The “fulness of the Gentiles” (Rom. 11:25) is almost an accomplished fact, and so far as

we can see, it cannot be long before, in the words of the parable, “the king came in to look at the guests” and he saw there a man who had on no wedding garment. It used to be said that with an invitation to a wedding of a king’s son, a wedding garment accompan­ied the invitation. It is now a little doubtful if such was the case. However, that does not destroy the beauty of the figure.

When we are baptised, our sins are covered with the righteousness of Christ, represented by white raiment; and without it we cannot hope for acceptance. Here was one who was not so covered. Evidently he knew “the Truth”, he knew what God required, but had refused to have his sins washed away in baptism. As an unforgiven sinner, in fact a wilful sinner (because the very fact of him being at the marriage feast shows he knew the Truth) he might well be speechless before the king. When questioned by him, “Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?”, we can well understand the king’s summary command, “Bind him hand and foot, and cast him into outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth”.

The Lord’s conclusion is “For many are called, but few are chosen”. How true that is! It was true in the days of the apostles; it is equally true today. As before, now the whole world lieth in wickedness, and there are few indeed who have any inclination God-wards. The “remnant” is indeed tiny, and we can It is a little difficult to determine exactly upon which custom the story is based. It has been suggested that it had its basis upon a custom (we think it must not have been a general one!) of the bridegroom, having in­stalled the bride in her new home, retiring for a little final “fling” with his male friends before complying with the ties of domestic life, and this parable describes the return from such a “fling”, and his friends join him to go to the marriage feast. We have, however, only found one reference to such a practice. On the other hand, the general teaching of the parable is clear.

As we have pointed out, it was the bride­groom’s “friend” who always announced, “Be­hold the bridegroom cometh”, and this was made at the midnight hour of Jewish affairs (almost). “They all slumbered and slept.” But how could they all be thus asleep, if the par­able still applies? Because, as stated, this was given to Christ’s immediate disciples, and those to whom it was given are now slumbering and sleeping, awaiting that imperative midnight cry. If the disciples understood this they would realise, as he said clearly in another parable, it would be “after a long time” and not during their lifetime that the bridegroom would come.

Meanwhile, what of the lamps? They con­sisted of an earthenware body, filled with oil, with a wick floating on top of the oil, and which was fed up through the spout of the lamp which was nipped in appropriately, or sometimes flattened off with a small hole through this flattened portion. All the parts have a suitable counterpart:

The earthenware body. Paul says “We have this treasure in earthen vessels”.

The oil is an excellent symbol of the Word of God.

The wick. The brain-power and intelligence by means of which we absorb the teaching of the Word of God.

The flame. Until the lamp is lit, it is of no use at all. Until we light our lamp, and having lit it, put it on a lampstand to let it give light to all that are in the house, it is of no use. The disciples of Jesus remembered it was writ­ten of him, “The zeal of thine house bath consumed me”. (The disciples on the way to Emmaus said, “Did not our hearts burn within us?” or as the N.E.B. has it, “Were not our hearts set on fire?”). Similarly, our hearts have to be “set on fire”.

The vessel with reserve oil. When the virgins arose they said, “Our lamps are going out”. Unless the reserve oil was there, they would go out. There was no opportunity to get fur­ther supplies. Unless the reserve supply was there to replenish the dying flame, the position was hopeless. What is that reserve supply of oil? Could it not be the reserve of spirituality derived from the daily contact with the Word of God, that “assimilation of the Divine mind” so very necessary? Once we join the “slum-berers” the account is closed, and we are un­able to add to it. Not only so, but whatever our “reserves” may be, we are quite unable to share them with anyone else, however will­ing we might be to do so.

As Paul told the Galatians (chapter 6:5), “Each man will have to bear his own load”, the “bearing of each other’s burdens” in v.2 has reference to actions in this life. While the non-provident went to try and “buy” more oil, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went with him into the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Then came the others,

“Lord, Lord, open to us”. He replied, “Truly I say to you, I do not know you”.

We can imagine no bigger tragedy than to find ourselves on the wrong side of that closed door. We understand it, we know it, we know what is involved, and now is the time to build up those “reserves”, characters which will meet the Lord’s approval, so that with full lamps and brightly burning flames we can meet the Lord. The marriage of the lamb is the eleva­tion to the Lord’s present nature of the bride. The giving to her of immortality. “He that is joined to the Lord, is one spirit.” (In marriage natural the two become one flesh; in marriage spiritual they become one spirit,) This is our hope and our desire. Watch ye, therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the bridegroom cometh.