A Few Years Ago, a sister, whose husband was dying of cancer, told me she had no one she could talk with to confide her thoughts and feelings or who would just sit with her while she had a good cry. Recently, another sister told me something very similar that she had experienced. What were these sisters being told? “Do your readings and pray. Everything will be all right.” “You’ve had enough time to adjust to the diagnosis and plan of care. Accept it and move on with your life.”
These things can be difficult to do. How do you just accept a diagnosis and move on with your life if something terrible happens to someone you love? It doesn’t matter whether you’ve spent 40 or 50 years with them or only a few months.
The recommendations these sisters were given have a place. They are all true. Doing the readings is important to obtain knowledge and understanding of God’s plan and purpose. We also find comfort in the words of the Bible. Prayer helps in expressing one’s thoughts to the One who can give us the most comfort. Yes, we have to face reality, eventually, but initially it is difficult to do. When a loved one is given a diagnosis of a terminal illness, the shock can be beyond comprehension, the individuals receiving the information often are dazed and go into a state of denial. To the believer this does not mean they no longer believe in God’s promises of the kingdom and the hope of eternal life.
Individuals going through emotional trials need physical outlets. We remain human and experience human feelings and emotions. Emotion is defined “as a complex and usually strong subjective response.” Those going through stressful times need to express their emotions. They need to be with brothers and sisters and be able to talk about their feelings and, if need be, to cry (a release of emotion and tension). Jesus showed emotion. Are we not told in John 11:35, “Jesus wept”? In Luke 19:41, as Jesus came to Jerusalem, “he beheld the city, and wept over it.” Jesus not only wept but told us that in this life we would weep: “Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now for ye shall laugh” (Luke 6:21). Paul tells us in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
As a nurse, I work with families whose loved ones have been diagnosed with a fatal disease, have experienced severe trauma that will affect their lives in many ways, or whose disease will no longer respond to medical treatment. What is one of the things all health care professionals do when faced with this type of situation? They let the person/s talk, cry, lash out, release their emotions in whatever way they need to without causing injury to themselves or others. There have been times when I have wept with families. As sisters and brothers, shouldn’t we be doing the same? Aren’t we to emulate Christ? To be Christ-like?
The gospel writers tell us that Christ was moved with compassion. Mark, in recording the incident of Jesus healing the leper, writes, “And Jesus moved with compassion, put forth His hand and touched him, and said unto him, I will; be thou clean” (Mark 1:41). In Matthew 14:14, we read “And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.”
Compassion is defined “as a deep feeling of sharing the suffering of one another together with inclination to give aid or support or to show mercy.”
The apostle Paul tells us in I Peter 3:8, “Finally, be ye all of one mind, have compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.” In Zechariah 7:9, we read “Thus speaketh the LORD of hosts, saying, execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassion every man to his brother.”
How do we as sisters and brothers in Christ show mercy and compassion? By being there for one another: be a listener, don’t be judgmental or a lecturer. When the moment presents itself, the right words, if they are needed, will come to you to comfort those who need it. Sometimes we don’t need to say anything, just be there with hugs and a shoulder for the individual to lean on and to cry on. We can send cards to let brethren know we’re thinking of them, not just one card, but frequent ones. Take time to listen to what is being said to you. A group of sisters have begun a Friendship Afghan Project by knitting and crocheting an afghan for those who need our love. Each time a brother or sister uses and/or touches the afghan, they will be reminded of the love and concern of their sisters.
Love, compassion and mercy is not limited to the seriously ill brother and sister, but includes the caregivers, be they spouses, children, parents, and/ or grandparents. There are many who are going through other types of trials and tribulations, such as losing a job or of a spouse losing a job. Think about it. There will always be some among us who need lifting up, whether it is a warm smile from across the room or a huge hug. Paul in Acts 20:35 tells us, “I have shewed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.” In I Thessalonians 5:14, he writes: “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise” (Luke 6:31).
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One