There Seems to be a tendency among some, especially those concerned with advocating women’s rights, to view the distraction caused by immodest dress as only the responsibility of the men of our community. It is this idea — that it is not the fault of the sister when a brother is distracted by what she may or may not be wearing — that merits a response from the brotherhood itself. We are not dealing with an occasional lapse in modesty; it is a growing problem that shows up at Bible classes, Bible schools, and even Memorial Service. The following quotes were collected from young North American brothers, through an e-mail survey, on the subject of modesty. It can be very difficult for us, as women, to understand the real problems behind immodest dress, and it is important that we trust the word of the men as to what is distracting and troublesome.
“Much of the clothing that is worn to meeting and Bible schools by women presents a problem to men and to God. I think women need to realize the extent to which men struggle, and I mean struggle, with lust and impure thoughts…Take our natural, sinful inclinations and add them to the fact that we are constantly bombarded by sex in the movies, over the radio, in novels, in our relationships with our unbelieving friends at work/school/etc., in the magazine racks at checkout lines, on billboards and all other types of media, and the problem becomes significantly worse. Consequently, part of the solution lies within our daily decisions to censor what we see, hear and read. However, even this has its limitations, and men certainly need the help of their sisters in Christ in this area.”
“We shouldn’t attempt to draw attention to ourselves in a sexual manner, and that should especially be the case in the house of the Lord. And one should do what he/she can to humble himself before the Lord to live and behave modestly.”
“You have to be even more modest because you are representing Christ, and you don’t want to appear to the world as being someone in the world. You want to separate yourself from the world and conform yourself to Christ.”
“The clothing that women wear reveals whether they are buying into society or believing God’s Word.”
“Often, girls think [immodesty] will attract boys…If anything, you are probably causing us to sin because that WILL get our attention, but not in a good way for you or us.”
“For a sister to employ modesty with regards to outward appearances is to pursue humility — an effort to downplay her physical beauty in the sight of God and men, not assert it. Covering the flesh is really the key, and a principle that is obviously important, right from Genesis 3. There are certain aspects of a sisters ‘flesh’ that can be extremely provocative for a brother, and so it follows that these are best kept concealed — for the sake of the sister’s own fleshly pride, and the brother’s weakness In this respect, if a certain clothing is in question, one will err on the side of caution “
“If you could get into a guy’s head for ten minutes…no…ten seconds…it would give your wardrobe a complete overhaul so fast…and if it didn’t, what would that say about you?”
“In terms of specifics, I think spaghetti straps, visible bellies, short shorts that expose thighs, V-necks that go way too low, are definitely NOT modest’ Button down shirts — keep them buttoned up! Anything past the second button is inappropriate and an instant stumbling block. Tight skirts that cling to the shape of a woman’s body are also prevalent at meeting/Bible schools. The length of shorts is also a major problem Also, tops that are supported by two skimpy straps, or straps of any kind for that matter, cause problems “
“A sister will not be able to prevent the thoughts of lust and desire in a brother, but she can actively attempt to find out how best to stifle some of them in how she presents herself The question is, ‘Does this flaunt or actively draw awareness to my fleshly beauty?”
“The scriptural lesson is simply this: if it causes your brother to sin or struggle, then do something proactive to prevent it It is not a matter of judging but a matter of being conscious of the circumstance and doing something to cause less distraction to others…sisters are often very sensitive on this subject because they feel they are being judged One must get beyond that feeling and look to the higher principle.”
It is so easy to see this subject as an attempt to remove freedom from Christadelphian women We are not our own; we are part of the body of Christ, and have devoted ourselves to the spiritual care of that body The Bible’s teaching is that if it causes our brother to stumble, it is wrong The fact that sin comes from within the mind of the sinner is a side issue; it is not our place to demand the freedom to cause sin As sisters who are trying to display the character of Christ, we should see this as an opportunity to take a proactive step in helping our brothers We will never completely tame some aspects of human nature, but with a little deliberation, we can control the way we dress, and in doing so, help our brothers to battle this aspect of their natures. It’s a simple thing for us to do, and the benefits far outweigh the possible inconvenience involved. Trust your brothers, not us – it’s worth it.
“It is internal beauty that is precious to God and godly men. The beauty of today is external, and it is momentarily pleasing to sinful men and a perversion of God’s creation. We see the same contrast in Proverbs: ‘Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion,’ and, ‘charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.’ Who do women want to please? The sinful men that represent the majority of the population, or their Father in heaven?”
“Modesty and submissiveness and loving God is beauty. We, as true believers, have a chance to show people in the world that we are different by the way we dress…be modest and then you will be beautiful.”
“There is a wonderful, unique beauty that surrounds a modest woman. Women who dress and behave immodestly in order to win the favor of men are a dime a dozen, and the beauty they boast of can be found everywhere. It is a cheap beauty that fades quickly and more often than not, reveals an impure heart. A modest women stands out among the crowd, and has a special grace that only grows sweeter with time.”
“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies …She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of her life” (Prov. 31:10,12).
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One