I look forward to reading this particular section every month —I always think of it as the “adventure article.” Young people from all over the country are traveling all over the world with various missionary duties, sharing amazing stories and experiences that have clearly strength ened their faith and hope of better things to come. I have to admit that when I was newly baptized, I wasn’t ready for a trip around the world – much less a trip that focused on sharing my faith with others in a strange land. So I read these stories with all the more awe for the example they provide, and thankfulness for God’s visible hand in their lives as they spread the gospel.
The birth of a child
But right now I’m on an adventure of my own, one that began a few short weeks ago next to a hospital bed near my home. I was about to witness a true miracle, an amazing reminder of the power of the Almighty to give life. This miraculous adventure was the birth of my second daughter Chloe. Words cannot adequately express the feelings of Rebekah and me that day, but the experience will stay with us for the rest of our lives. “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalms 127:3, NASV).
I know there are many young people in the ecclesia who married and began a family at an early age. As anyone with children can attest, life is forever changed. The adventure is only beginning once you leave the hospital with your new addition. The pace of life seems to be turned up several notches, and when the kids are very young it feels like a hundredfold increase in both joy and hard work.
Now, with a 19-month old (Madeline) and a 1-month old in the house, our typical day begins before sunrise and our motors run in high gear until Madeline is in bed late in the evening. By that time, we are just glad to have made it through the day, and our own bedtime is not much later. With the loss of sleep during the night for regular feedings, nerves can get frazzled. Prolonged crying spells and conflicting nap schedules only add to the frenzy. Even some of this article has been written with Chloe wiggling in my lap. Every free moment becomes precious.
Impact on every aspect of life
Ecclesial life has changed as well. On Sunday mornings or at mid-week Bible class, we now sit in the back with many other new families. Chloe has company; two other babies in the meeting were born within a one-week period. Meditating on the readings, classes, or exhortation is often impossible with the combined murmur and activity of the kids around us, especially with interruptions from our own. One night our Bible class was discussing this fact that families with small children sometimes get little out of the traditional fellowship and worship activities with all the commotion. Those comments were met with chuckles from the various new grandparents in the group, and I believe I heard the phrase “sweet revenge” and similar comments bantered about the room. Who knows what they were talking about? I guess there are some things about the older generation I just don’t understand!
Do the experiences listed above remind anyone of II Corinthians 11, detailing Paul’s many sufferings endured while spreading the gospel message throughout the Gentile world? Certainly not! Busy lives and sleep deprivation hardly give us grounds to boast. Pity isn’t necessary, but we must examine ourselves when such a life-changing event occurs in our lives. Is God still the top priority? With the loss of time and addition of new responsibilities, what activities suffer? Are they the right ones? If my spiritual life has been a casualty in all these changes, how do I right the ship and get myself back on track? The challenge for Rebekah and me has been the changing of roles in our lives, at least during the newborn and toddler phase. I have been feeling like I am unable to contribute to the same ecclesial responsibilities that were no problem for me before. What I am realizing is that, although roles have changed, they have not decreased in importance. This is true both at home and in the ecclesia. Raising children to love the Lord is doing the Lord’s work. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
I am not advocating that you should abandon all ecclesial duties for a new child, but it is a scriptural principle that your immediate family comes first, and then your extended family in the faith. Paul tells Timothy that fathers who desire to be leaders in the ecclesia must first rule over their own house, “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (I Tim. 3:5).
Building a godly family
Everything in a good family dynamic begins with finding a mate who shares your desire to use Christ the bridegroom and his bride, the ecclesia, as the ultimate example of marriage. This cannot be stressed enough to those who are looking to marry. With that foundation, the missing pieces of the weekly exhortation due to a crying baby do not mean the loss of spiritual encouragement for the week. Service to God and each other is a daily event that kids pick up quickly and learn from. Some of the most effective preaching and exhortation takes place in your own home. And it goes both ways. Our kids provide us with one lesson after another that we can apply to our walk. To date, I have never received a better education in both patience and selflessness. God is present and continues to work visibly in our lives.
The sounds you hear from the back of the hall each week may at first be irritating— until you realize that these are the sounds of life, the sounds of energy, proof of God’s continued blessing upon your lamp stand, and the future of that lamp stand should Christ tarry. With close to 40 members in our young Sunday school, we all feel blessed in San Diego. Maybe new parents don’t hear every class or Bible reading word for word. What they are doing is showing their kids that they are spending their time in the best possible place, witnessing fellowship around the Lord’s table. They learn reverence and respect for the things of God, they learn to sit quietly through the whole service (I look forward to this day), and eventually they hear the messages coming from the Word. They begin to build the bonds that last a lifetime, the ones that help provide a higher purpose in our lives and a belonging to the things of the light. Since Chloe’s birth I have seen footage of three horrible high school shootings, as well as two other planned shootings that were stopped before they could occur. Two of the actual shootings took place within 20 miles of my home. Do I worry that my own kids will someday be involved with something like this? I know that God’s protecting hand is in our lives, and that “the angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them” (Psalms 34:7). What worries me is the declining state of our society in general. It is the hundreds or thousands of other kids who are growing up in similar situations as these shooters, without God, in “good” neighborhoods, lonely, directionless, angry, feeding off the darkness that pervades the world today.
It is our responsibility to outfit our children with the armor of God, so they can help spread the light of the gospel and resist the evil that will continue to worsen until the time of the end. A godly household is built over time. When Peter visited Cornelius, it is only a short time later that he and his entire household were baptized. They had the belief and foundation already established through Cornelius’ godly leadership. When the call came, there was no hesitation. In a similar fashion Lydia, after “The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul” (Acts 16:14), she and her household were baptized immediately after. There is no doubt that her influence and life example began much earlier, allowing the gospel message the chance to change lives throughout her home.
The Corinthian church was built through Paul’s planting, Apollos’ watering, and God providing the increase. With our kids, we have the opportunity to take this metaphor further and build a greenhouse around them, an irrigation system, and provide regular feeding. We have a say in how much light they receive. In other words, they eventually have to make their own final decision to repent and take on Christ, but we can provide the optimal conditions to allow them to bear good fruit.
I am reminded daily of the miracles in our home just by watching our kids. It may be a smile or laugh, an unsolicited hug and kiss, hearing a little “amen” at the end of prayers, or seeing all the little things in life for the first time through their excited eyes. The hard work is easily forgotten when we remember the hope we share, and the gifts that God constantly bestows upon us.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One