Perseverance

“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:3-4).

“Perseverance” is, quite simply, developing the ability to wait. If I can be sure, when the time finally comes for the Great High Priest to return from the Most Holy Place bringing the final blessing, that I’ll still be here, patiently waiting, rejoicing in the tribulations which I endure, having learned real patience, enough for a lifetime, of broken hearts and broken dreams… if I can be sure of that, then I know — as surely as I know anything — that, for us who are still waiting, ‘We will be saved’ will become, in that instant, ‘We are saved!’

But before me stretches what is left of a life which I know, just as surely, will con­tinue to have hurt feelings, resentments, disappointments, bitter experiences, ail­ments and illnesses, and the gradual and insidious decline of all my human powers.

Surely, in what time remains, I will continue to fall short time and again of what I would like to be, but can’t quite be, and to ask forgiveness for the 490th time for the same sins, of forgiving others for the same number of times. Can I bear what lies ahead without throwing up my hands and walking away from the door of the temple, where I wait?

But if I turn and go away, I will be going out into the howling waste of a wilder­ness filled with subtle snakes and stinging scorpions, where there is no hope and no life and no love: the wilderness where Judas went, and Cain, and Saul, and a million others, those who could not truly believe that the High Priest was coming to bring them the last great blessing.

God give me strength enough to wait, as long as it takes. For I now know that “faith” is not some life-changing mystical insight into eternal things, but a dogged determination to hold on in my spirit to what I know in my mind to be true, no matter how long and how difficult it seems, and no matter how distracting are so many concerns and people around me.

Should I care what that God-given strength is called, whether it be His providence, His care, His Scriptural instruction, or even His Holy Spirit? Should I try to figure out how that strength comes to me, and is assimilated into my spirit? Or should I merely be humbly grateful when it is there, miraculously but inexplicably?

“I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning” (Psa 130:5-6).