The Believers Did Come Through

Dear Aunt Sarah,

I’ve had an experience that I’d like to share with you.

When I was in my middle teens, I was involved in Sunday School, CYC, Sunday meetings and other Christadelphian functions typical of someone raised in a long-standing Christadelphian family.

I didn’t always feel comfortable with my Christadelphian situation, however, because I felt like sometimes I was acting one way at ecclesial functions and another way when I was at school or work. Of course, I noticed that other young people were following the same pattern. Also I felt uncomfortable about saying openly that there were times when I sinned. I felt like i f I admitted to sinning, people would look down on me as they all seemed to be projecting the image that, since sin was wrong, they wouldn’t talk about doing it.

Actually I felt more comfortable with my non-Christadelphian friends. With them, I could relax and say and do what I wanted without fear of being looked down on for my very human conduct.

When I went away to college, it gave me the chance to make the break that had been building up in my life. While the college I attended was not far from an ecclesia, I chose not to go to that or any other one. It wasn’t the teaching against which I was rebelling, for I could see that Christadelphians were right about Bible doctrine. In fact, when religion came up, I would argue for the beliefs that I knew were true.

What did happen, however, was that associating with nothing but people in the world, I gradually absorbed their outlooks and even stopped being interested in a place in God’s kingdom.

About this time, I got a new boyfriend who was interested in campus religious activities and I began to attend some of their meetings. They didn’t teach me anything about the Bible; in fact, I seemed to know much more than most of them, even though I hadn’t been doing my readings for some time. What they did have going for them was what seemed to be a lively and exciting attitude to God. Their songs were upbeat and they treated me in a very friendly manner. My Christadelphian upbringing kept me from going so far as to join a church that I knew did not believe some basic Bible teaching, but I certainly felt they had something that our ecclesia lacked.

Then everything changed. I got in trouble, dropped out of school and had to go back home. Now that I was going to be a burden on somebody, I found my family to be far more supportive than my school friends, or those I had made in the college religious group. As my Christadelphian acquaintances began to find out about my situation, they were very loving, kind and open in sharing with me problems that had occurred in their lives and weaknesses they are struggling with to this day.

At first, this came as quite a shock to me because! had always felt that! was the only one struggling with these things. It now seems kind of dumb that, for years, I felt all alone with my imperfections when all along others were struggling too. If only I had not been so afraid of how my Christadelphian friends would see me if I talked to them about my problems, maybe! could have saved myself and others a lot of grief

Can’t something be done to prevent other young people from going through what I did? Can’t we make our services and music more lively, at least at young people’s functions? Why are people so close-mouthed about their problems until somebody else gets in trouble and seeks their help?

Please help!

With love,
Anne

Dear Anne,

You have spoken from your heart so let me speak from mine.

When you were in your mid and late teens, you were an unconverted sinner. That’s the reason you did not feel fellowship, communion, concord or agreement with converted believers who were making a serious attempt to serve God. That’s why you felt more rapport with the world. At that stage in life, you were in the world.

I know you were raised in a Christadelphian home and were a miniature disciple as a child. But when you became a young adult, you began to be your own person and that person was an unconverted sinner. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s true of everybody. Even after we repent and commit ourselves to Christ through baptism, we still commit sins. In fact, the more clearly we realize it the more thankful we are for the grace of God in forgiving our sins. But the unconverted sinner will feel awkward and out of place in the company of committed disciples of Christ, which is why you would feel a general awkwardness with the brothers and sisters.

Committed disciples don’t like sin; they feel it is an offense against God whom they love with their heart, mind, soul and strength. Sometimes we try to suppress our disapproval because we don’t want the other person to feel awkward. This is especially true in dealing with our own young people; we don’t want to alienate them from our company. But you couldn’t help but feel a certain atmosphere of disapproval.

You may feel you were put off by hypocrisy that you saw among the bap­tized. Mind you, I agree that every believer acts hypocritically once in a while; just because we are committed to God’s way does not eliminate sin in our life, and some people in the meeting are hypocrites, period. We know that the wheat and tares grow together until the resurrection, so that’s to be expected. Yet I have not found a high percentage of the community to be like the Pharisees.

You may wonder why you didn’t hear more about people’s sins until you were obviously in trouble. As you know, I’ve had several children and been involved for years with the CYC. My experience is that unconverted youngsters may look for excuses to sin and they could use my sins to give them ideas. Once you are in trouble, however, I, and others like me, will tend to be much more candid to help you realize you are not alone and to keep you from completely giving up.

There are things we could do better. Some are trying to help those with problems and have set up a confidential care network. Hopefully, those who are unable to cope will take advantage of it.

Also, we’re always trying to make our CYC more relevant and I feel this is a matter we really need to address. Study topics should be meaningful, covering real-life issues like friendships, morality and substance abuse along with solid Bible study topics. And I think CYC should be on Saturday evening so that we provide an alternative to dating school or work acquaintances. Obviously if we are going to have CYC on Saturdays, it needs to include some fun activity and probably a meal together. In doing this, we all need to remember the Truth is a serious issue: Ecclesiastes tells us we learn more from the house of mourning than the place of partying and mirth. Obviously, we don’t have to be serious all the time, but we simply cannot compete with the world when it comes to fun and games.

This general attitude also affects the music we sing. The Truth has depth and substance which is not the case with a lot of happy-clappy songs which do little but repeat the same shallow phrases over and over. Such songs may be appropriate once in a while around the campfire, but they are not suitable as a steady diet for those who have committed themselves to the serious business of working out their salvation with trembling and fear.

When you are converted and become a committed disciple of our Lord, you will find that you have true fellowship with those who are like-minded and that you have little in common with those who are still walking in darkness. Then you will be able to understand why things have happened as they have and will be able to rejoice as one with those who love God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength.

With much love,
Aunt Sarah