Because of our flawed human nature, it is inevitable that relations with our fellows can sometimes prove difficult, even strained. It is possible for situations to arise that call for restraint and tact, especially when the issues involved are of a sensitive nature. If strong feelings are aroused, language can inflict a wound which will never be forgotten.
Paul’s letter to Philemon provides a model of how one believer should communicate with another when a particularly delicate situation has arisen.
Paul knew about strong feelings
We need to remember that the apostle was no stranger to fraternal friction. Acts 15:36-39 tells us of the unfortunate difference of opinion which divided Paul and Barnabas over the advisability of taking John Mark with them on a second missionary journey. The contention was so acrimonious that they had to go their separate ways. Paul took Silas with him and Barnabas left for Cyprus in the company of Mark.
Such a quarrel involving two spiritual characters may well surprise us, but it is a reminder of the fallibility of human nature. We can be sure that both parties learned a great deal from this unhappy experience and resolved that it would not recur. Indeed, we know that Paul did not harbor any permanent resentment against John Mark. Paul relays Mark’s greetings to the Colossian brethren (Col. 4:10); and, in the last of his letters, Paul speaks of Mark as “profitable” to him in the Lord’s service (II Tim. 4:11).
The conversion of an escaped slave
When we seek to reconstruct the circumstances which gave rise to Paul’s brief letter to Philemon, we need look no further than the letter itself. We learn from verse 2 that believers in Colossae assembled in the home of Philemon. We thus conclude that Philemon possessed a commodious home, like one of those spacious and attractive villas which have been excavated and restored at Pompeii in southern Italy.
It is possible that he had a retinue of slaves for the maintenance of the house and the estate, but about this we can only speculate. We can, however, identify one of his slaves, Onesimus (Phil. 10). This bondservant had absconded and taken with him some of his master’s property (v.18). If Philemon had only a few slaves, or even just the one, the departure of Onesimus was a real loss, apart from any property he had stolen.
Somehow, we do not know precisely how, the fugitive and the apostle had come in contact and Paul had converted him (v.10). Evidently it was during Paul’s imprisonment in Rome that this interesting development took place. What we glean from the letter about the apostle’s circumstances corresponds closely to what is said in Acts 28:30-31. In both sources, it is apparent that, though Paul was in prison, he enjoyed considerable freedom to receive his friends.
A delicate situation was created
After the baptism of Onesimus, what was Paul to do? Onesimus had received forgiveness of sins as a result of accepting Christ as his Savior. Therefore, in one sense, what the slave had previously done no longer mattered. God had forgiven him and so should his new brother, Philemon. Moreover, Paul had a personal reason for retaining Onesimus in Rome: he had ministered to the apostle’s needs and had won his affection (vs. 11-13).
But Paul also knew that Onesimus had been guilty of a grave offense, especially in the eyes of Roman law, and the offense had been committed against a good person, a brother in Christ. Accordingly, Paul judged it proper Onesimus should return to his master, leaving Philemon to decide what should be done. It was a difficult situation for the runaway slave and Paul would enter into his feelings.
A letter had therefore to be composed which took full cognizance of the various factors involved. The result was the Epistle to Philemon.
A model of sensitivity and tact
The apostle postpones any mention of the thorny issue until well into the letter: the name of Onesimus does not appear until verse 10. Up to that point, Paul engaged in the kind of greetings with which we are familiar from other of his epistles — grace and peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ are prominently mentioned. This sets the tone for the whole letter.
Courtiously, the apostle embraces in his salutation not only Philemon but also his wife, Apphia, his son, Archippus, and the whole company of believers who gather in Philemon’s home (v.2). Then Paul proceeds to mention how much he esteems and loves Philemon for all his goodness (vs. 47). Next, in verses 8-9, Paul moves toward the central reason for his writing; he could use boldness but he chooses to employ the appeal of love. As in verse 1, so again the apostle refers to his situation as “a prisoner of Jesus Christ,” thus obliquely indicating the price he has paid for his allegiance to his Lord.
Then Paul comes to the mention of Onesimus and his offense against Philemon (vs. 10-11). Paul freely recognizes that Onesimus has been unprofitable in the past, but now he is profitable. This involves a play upon words which Philemon would appreciate for he would know that “Onesimus” meant “profitable.”
Remember the good that has resulted
In the rest of the letter, Paul explains that he would gladly keep Onesimus with him but he deems this improper without consulting Philemon. Although the circumstances attending the flight of Onesimus have been unfortunate, it has been perhaps all to the good. Now the runaway slave is returning to Colossae no longer as a slave but as a brother beloved and, in Philemon’s case, doubly so because of their relationship as master and servant.
Paul asks Philemon to receive Onesimus as he would the apostle himself. If Onesimus has wronged his master (and Paul obviously knows that he has), then Paul will himself make good the wrong. Delicately, the apostle reminds Philemon that he (like Onesimus) owes his conversion to Paul.
In verse 20, Paul appeals to Philemon to respond in a manner that will be a matter of rejoicing for Paul. Paul then expresses his confidence that Philemon will do more than the apostle asks.
Anticipating his release, through the prayers of the believers at Colossae, Paul asks Philemon to prepare him a guest room. Then, after greetings conveyed on behalf of those with whom Paul is in contact, the letter closes: “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.” The letter thus begins and ends with the concept of grace, which finds such delightful expression in this truly lovely communication from one brother to another.
What of our own letters?
Let us learn from it. When one disciple writes to another in unpleasant, or abusive terms, he is surely doing “despite to the spirit of grace.” It can be unnerving to receive such a communication.
Humbly, we should nevertheless give it consideration and ask ourselves whether there is any substance in the criticisms it contains. If we feel that in no circumstances would Paul add his signature to the missive, it is best ignored. The temptation that we must resist at all costs is to reply in kind.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One