Wayne Dyer is quoted as saying, “Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same World.”
There is a story of a Realtor showing a home to some prospective buyers. They asked the Realtor, “What kind of neighbors will we find here?” The Realtor replied by asking them, “What kind of neighbors do you have where you live now?” The couple replied how nice their neighbors were and how they all looked out for each other. The Realtor then told them that they would find the same kind of neighbors here. Later in the day the Realtor showed the same home to another couple and the same conversation took place. Only this time the couple answered that they have terrible neighbors who feud with them all the time. The Realtor replied regretfully that unfortunately they would find the same kind of neighbors here.
This story shows that Wayne Dyer’s observation generally holds true in our day-to-day lives, because we often find what we expect to find, and people’s reactions to us reflect the way we treat them. We’ll find what we are looking for not only in our neighbors but in the world all around us. If we expect to find the glass half-empty, it often is. People who walk around with a chip on their shoulder looking for someone to knock it off usually find someone willing to oblige.
Jesus tells us, “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you.” This advice is known as the Golden Rule, and while it may be old because Jesus said it so long ago, it sure hasn’t been used enough to look worn. It isn’t that we do not know the Golden Rule, it is just that it seems so many of us fail to practice it as we should. If we really treated others the way we want to be treated, we would solve many of our problems in our homes, in our places of work, certainly in our ecclesias, and even in our neighborhoods, as the wise Realtor realized when advising the prospective buyers.
Jesus’ advice how to treat others really works. If we are generous and helpful to others, especially when they most need help, not only do the ones we help benefit, but others often follow our example by being helpful as well, those helped feel grateful and reach out to others, and when we are in need, the spirit of generosity we have cultivated can rebound to benefit us.
In our conversations, if only, every time we have dealings with others, we would just ask ourselves, would we want someone to say to us what we are thinking of saying to them? How many arguments between husbands and wives, co-workers, or relatives would vanish if we all would ask ourselves this question every time before opening our mouth? If we think first before speaking, we won’t say the words we might regret having spoken in the heat of anger. We all should try to keep our words sweet for sometimes we find that later we have to eat them.
Occasionally when brothers and sisters are discussing issues, we hear harsh and unfriendly words uttered sometimes in anger, and yet each of us would certainly not like it if someone said these very same things to us. Solomon tells us that “a soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Solomon also observes, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” Later Solomon warns, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
James has much good advice about the tongue. “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell… But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”
We cannot actually practice the golden rule if we don’t control this tongue of ours. It can get us into a pile of trouble, and it can also save us, for as Jesus said, “By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” David wisely said, “I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.”
So our job is to treat others the way we would like to be treated. If we are loving to others, we will find the world to be a more loving place. To be more loving, we need to control our tongue and only say things to others that we would want being said to us. We all should pray the words of the Psalmist when he declared, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One