Dear Uncle Tom (Originally a letter to the editor),
I do not understand the fairness of some things that happen to people. I have a friend in the ecclesia who is facing such continual suspicion by various acquaintances that he is becoming uncertain of his faith in the Truth and in the very existence of God.
He has refused to follow the promiscuous conduct of this world and partly for this reason is portrayed as being gay. The most hurtful suspicions come from members of his own family (not in the ecclesia), especially from one member whose own moral integrity is questionable.
The damage is so great that I am not sure this person will ever fully recover. Is there anything this person can do?
Yours respectfully,
Concerned (The writer remained anonymous.)
Dear Concerned,
With the problems that beset the world in which we live, suspicions are inevitable. The strident demands of the gay and lesbian movement for recognition and acceptance have generated an atmosphere of fear and distrust but don’t blame that on God or the ecclesia. Put the blame where it belongs, on the rampant immorality which besets us on every side.
False accusations prove the Bible true
Your friend is facing a crisis of faith and needs our prayers. Try to get him to realize that the false accusations should turn him away from relying on people to relying on God, who does not deal with us unfairly. The fact that human beings indulge in false accusations confirms the Bible’s assessment of the heart of man. Benevolence, integrity and charity are unfortunately not characteristic of human nature. We naturally fall into a pattern of evil thoughts, hurtful accusations and malicious statements.
Furthermore, even if some of the false accusations are coming from those in the ecclesia, this should present no great surprise. The acceptance of right doctrine does not insure a charitable attitude. Some of the most religious people are the nastiest. Look at what the religious types did to Christ and look at what the super-religious Jews did to Paul.
If this person is doubting God because of being falsely accused of immorality, he should be warned by the parable of the sower. Remind your friend of the words: “Yet hath he not root in himself but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended” (Matt. 13:21). That is a description of the seed sown in stony ground. We must be able to endure persecution because of the Truth if we are to be saved.
Persecution because of the truth is to be expected
Right from the preaching of John the Baptist, who was beheaded because he spoke the truth, all down through the ages, true believers have suffered reproach and persecution because of their faith. The true believer does not take that as a signal that there is no God; he rejoices because he is honored to suffer for the Truth’s sake. Listen to the words of Christ: “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake” (Matt. 5:11). Observe the words, “say all manner of evil against you falsely.” That’s what you say is happening. And look at what Christ says should be the faithful person’s reaction: “Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you” (v.12). “Rejoice” he says and “be exceeding glad” this is the opposite to giving up on God and the Truth.
Remember, too, that this persecution does not always take the form of burning at the stake. In Christ’s case, it included false accusations and slighting remarks from his very own family (Mk. 3:21,31; John 7:3-5).
Trials are difficult to take
Scripture does not pretend that trials, false accusations or persecutions are enjoyable. They “are not joyous but grievous” (Heb. 12:11). The consolation is that, if we are rightly exercised by them, they yield “the peaceable fruit of righteousness.” One thing is certain, however, their presence does not disprove the existence of God. He has told us they will come.
The only way for your friend to live through his present difficulties is to keep his eyes firmly fixed on the eternal goal. Present trials are for a short time compared to the eternal glory for which they are preparing us. And you might suggest to him that he will find internal strength if he prays for his accusers.
Fear in our society
This may be all you want to convey to him, although I rather suspect there are some other things that should be said.
I find it difficult to believe that your friend is suspected of being homosexual solely because he or she is not promiscuous. That’s a little farfetched. I rather suspect he/she is conveying to others a sympathy with the gay community. We communicate, you know, by our body language, appearance and verbal intonation as much as we do by our actual words.
Your friend needs to realize the depth of fear and repugnance that lies deep within most people toward homosexuality. As a Bible student, your friend should recognize this is not a wrong reaction, because scripture is very clear that God abhors such conduct and so should we.
There was a good editorial on this issue in the Wall Street Journal, February 23, 1994. In the article, the authors were seeking “to articulate some of the reasons for the largely intuitive and pre-articulate anxiety of most Americans regarding homosexuality.”
They highlighted two reasons:
- It has become evident over time that “marriage and the family — husband, wife and children, joined by public recognition and legal bond — are the most effective institutions for the rearing of children, for the directing of sexual passion and for human flourishing in community.. .These are fragile institutions in need of careful and continuing support…(Accordingly) the social norms by which sexual behavior is inculcated and controlled are of urgent importance for families and for society as a whole.”
- “The young are particularly vulnerable to seduction and solicitation. Public anxiety about homosexuality is pre-eminently a concern about the vulnerabilities of the young. This is a matter of legitimate and urgent public concern.”
He may make excuses
Your friend may feel that some people have a disposition to be gay and that it is totally unfair to have a negative attitude toward them. This article makes an excellent observation in that regard: “Although we are equal before God, we are not born equal in terms of our strengths and weaknesses, our tendencies and dispositions, our nature and nurture. We cannot utterly change the hand we have been dealt by inheritance and family circumstances, but we are responsible for how we play that hand.”
If it is appropriate, counsel your friend to alter any habits of dress or demeanor that convey to others a homosexual tendency. For good reasons, most people have deep anxieties about gays and will react negatively toward any who they think display sympathies in that direction. He may feel it is unfair to be judged by externals, but he needs to face the reality of the way people react. Perhaps some wise adjustments could spare him grief
All trials are grievous. There are some things we can do, however, to mitigate our trials and I think that may be the case with your friend. Whether or not some changes help, he should try to learn from his trials, looking forward to the coming glory, and not react with rejection of God and the Truth.
Sincerely yours,
Uncle Tom
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One