There can be no doubt that people of all different kinds of personalities are included in the family of God.
Personalities differ
We see it in scripture. Among the apostles, Peter comes across as most aggressive and at times seems impetuous. When Jesus asks all 12 a question, Peter usually answered first, and he is the one who protests about the Lord washing their feet (Matt. 16:16; John 13:6). While John outran him to Jesus’ tomb, Peter was first to press ahead to enter it (John 20:4-5). Thomas comes through as the most skeptical of the 12, while John had a particularly close relationship with the Lord (20:25; 21:20).
We see it in the ecclesia. If a person believes the Truth, seeks baptism and commits to a faithful walk, we welcome him as an ecclesial member. We must do so; the ecclesia is not a secular organization; it is the house of God, “the pillar and ground of the Truth.” All who are called and chosen by God are baptized into it to the end that we might be useful members thereof (I Tim. 3:15; I Cor. 12:13). But similarity of personality is not a criteria for membership. Some speak out quickly, others are reticent to comment; some are decisive, others slow to make decisions; some are quick to take up new points, others are skeptical and conservative; some like a lot of hustle and bustle, others prefer quiet surroundings.
Facing reality
Given the variety of personalities in the meeting, it stands to reason we will be more attracted to the company of some than of others. The matter goes further than this. We may find some personalities so abrasive and annoying that we want nothing to do with them. If we had our choice, we would never be in the same meeting.
But it is not our choice. It’s Christ’s! Whether we be quick or slow, out-going or retiring we are all baptized into one body, for the body is not made up of the same kind of parts but a variety to serve different functions within that body (I Cor. 12). If we are Christ’s, we must bear with each other, even developing brotherly love for those to whom we are not naturally attracted.
Actually, it’s good for us. It’s easy to love those who like us and with whom we readily get along. Even sinners do that. The real love of Christ is developed by having to show brotherly love to those who, from a natural point of view, annoy us.
Look out for the flesh
As we all know, the heart is deceitful. In moments of self-examination, we have probably all recognized our ability to rationalize wrong action with spiritually-sounding justifications. There is a real danger of doing exactly this toward brethren who annoy us.
If we like a brother, we may ignore some wrong ideas he has or gently skirt around topics that can bring out the worst in him. On the other hand, with those who agitate us, we may well seize on some point they have made and create a big issue over it. Or we can “push the right buttons” causing them to make rash statements which will get them in trouble.
Subconsciously, sin is getting its way and building up to rid ourselves of an irritating personality. In such a scenario, the eventual public reasons for the separation will all seem very much in order, but the primary reason is a clash of personalities.
If this happens, the flesh has won; the spirit has lost.
Justice
Consider, too, the application of Biblical justice. God is just, not that He gives everyone what each person deserves — compassion rules over that — but that everyone is treated the same irrespective of social standing, economic status, race or personality. He insisted on His attitude being reflected by the judges in Israel; His standard is no different for those who hope to be judges of the future age.
When you think about it, there are some very big issues involved in this matter of personality differences. While there may be ecclesial members who greatly annoy us, we must not let the flesh triumph over the spirit. Let us rather honor the spirit of the doctrine of one body in Christ and deal justly with all our brethren.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One