The subject of marriage is one that affects us all, either directly or indirectly. We are all aware that marriage brings a lot of responsibilities: of the husband, of the wife and those that are shared by them both. Since marriage is the union of two individual lives, let us consider the subject of marriage from the viewpoint of each of those individuals, beginning with the wife.
The wife’s personality
It may seem strange to refer to “personality” as a responsibility , but consider its definition: “Personality is the sum of a person’s distinctive individual qualities.” Now we realize that the development of our character is a responsibility that we all have. Therefore, the development of the sum of our characteristics, our individual qualities, our “personality,” is also a responsibility that we have.
In Prov. 31:10-31, we are given the personal qualities that should characterize a sister-wife.
v.11 She is trustworthy – her husband has complete confidence in her being left at home.
v.12 She is a doer of good – always pursuing her husband’s best interests.
v.13 She is a willing worker – working diligently in the affairs of the household.
v.14 She is thrifty – looking for the best way of honest profit.
v.15 She is charitable – serving others.
v.17 She is energetic – seeking good health in order to serve her family.
v.20 She is benevolent – being considerate of the poor.
v.25 She is morally strong and honorable – not fearing the future.
v.26 She is wise and kind – being no gossip or slanderer.
v.27 She is industrious – exercising careful surveillance of all that goes on in the household.
v.28 She is praiseworthy – well spoken of by all who know her. If we were to sum up these qualities with one word, we would pick the Hebrew word which combines the idea of moral goodness and bodily vigor — hayil, the English word “virtuous.”
The wife’s purpose
When thinking of a woman’s purpose, many in the world automatically stereotype her as a slave to her husband. This was not God’s intention. In Genesis 2:18 we read: “And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
In the beginning, Adam and Eve were to help each other. Together they were to share responsibilities and to work out God’s plan cooperatively. It was not until the punishment for sin that the woman was put into subjection under the man. But even after Eve was placed into that new position of subjection, her purpose did not change. Eve’s position changed, but her purpose did not! She was still to be an help meet for the man; she was still to share in the responsibilities and to cooperate with him in working out God’s plan.
The wife’s partner
A sister in the Truth has a responsibility to select a partner she can truly be of one mind with and be in subjection to. The responsibility to her partner does not end with the selection process; it carries over into her daily life with that partner. This is particularly important in the Truth for the demands of daily life coupled with the demands of ecclesial life can often wear heavy upon a husband. The wife needs to provide refreshing help to ease these stresses and to make the home a sanctuary from the pressures of life.
The wife’s attitude
By this, we do not mean one’s attitude in general but one’s attitude when a problem arises– especially a problem that may affect the wife’s walk in the Truth. Sis. Jane Roberts (wife of Bro. Robert Roberts) offers this advice to sister-wives: “It would be well for a sister to try to discover if she possibly can, how she may by any modification of her own behavior, bring about a happier and more becoming state of things. It would be better for her to forego even what she might legitimately claim as her right, if the Truth would be thereby served…”
In Philippians 4, scripture offers guidance in this regard. In the context of personal strife two sisters are urged, “in everything by prayer and supplication with thankfulness let your request be made known unto God.” Here we are given the formula for helping us with our problems — prayer! But notice the proper attitude that we are to have when we make requests in prayer — with thankfulness. And what is the result? Peace! “The peace of God shall keep your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)
A wife can receive inner strength from fervent, faithful and thankful prayer.
The wife’s practical wisdom
The world abounds with so-called experts in the area of child upbringing. However, the sister-mother relies on God’s word as her expert. Within God’s Word there is a foundation for bringing up a child — the love and fear of God.
The instruction that God gives to His children (the nation of Israel) is the same instruction that we are to teach our children day and night. If that foundation is taught to a child in his early years, when he is an adult, “His delight will be in the law of the Lord, and in God’s law will he meditate day and night.”
A godly mother remembers that “the rod and reproof give wisdom.” She knows that if she consistently instructs and corrects her children, “they shall give her rest, yea they shall give delight unto her soul.” (Prov. 29.15-17)
The wife’s priorities
In looking at Proverbs 31, the priorities of the “virtuous woman” are clearly outlined. Her first priority is to her husband, her next to her household and her third to the poor and needy. (Prov. 31:11,15,20) A wife who has her priorities firmly implanted in her mind becomes a “crown unto her husband.”
The husband
To this point, our consideration has been one-sided! What about the husband?
Our subject is marriage but actually we have a particular marriage in mind — the marriage of the lamb. Regarding a marriage in which Jesus Christ is the husband, everything that has been said should apply not just to sisters, but to brothers and sisters. All that has been said regarding personality, purpose, responsibilities to the partner, attitude, practical wisdom and priorities applies to the bride of Christ.
We are all aware that when Christ returns, he will take the ecclesia to be his bride. But before we, individually or ecclesially, will be included in the bride, the characteristics that we have mentioned concerning the wife must be manifested in us. How are we doing in this regard?
Personality — do we have a deep feeling for others that is manifested in loving concern and in helpfulness. As an individual and as an ecclesia, we should strive to develop the moral qualities of a virtuous ecclesia.
Purpose — do we share responsibilities in the ecclesia? Do we cooperate in working out God’s plan?
Responsibility to our partner — do we truly wish to be married to Christ or do the worldly influences pull us away from him? The test of an individual’s or an ecclesia’s love for Christ is seen in what they are willing to endure for his sake!
Attitude –When a problem arises, do we have a prayerful attitude as an ecclesia. Are we of one mind? Do we derive inner strength from faithful prayer?
Practical wisdom as a mother — we must not neglect the younger ones growing up in our midst. Do we work with them to see that they are taught in the ways of the Lord both day and night on a consistent basis?
Priorities — our first priority should be to our espoused, the Lord Jesus. Our second priority should be to our household (individual and ecclesial) that our respective ecclesias might be maintained as lightstands. Our third priority should be to the poor and needy, to those who are unenlightened by the gospel truth.
The marriage of the lamb is a subject which affects us all. Let us therefore, brothers and sisters, remember the instruction of Proverbs 31: “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Accepting the responsibilities of the bride of Christ, let us prepare ourselves for that glorious day when the redeemed shall say one to another: “Let us be glad and rejoice and give honor to him; for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.” (Rev. 19:7)
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One