Dear Andy,
A few weeks ago I told you that you should not turn parenthood into a popularity contest. It’s more important to put your child’s eternal welfare ahead of any concern about your popularity with him. You may fear that means you should be a continual grouch or that the children will feel there is a cloud of censorship and gloom over their heads.
Not true! Not true! You can make life fun within a godly environment.
Fun and godliness
Our world is so used to having fun by indulging the flesh that we’re liable to think of fun and godliness as being incompatible. But look at Israel’ s case. Of all nations in the world, they were the only ones governed by God’s laws, and what was to be the prevailing attitude in the nation? Joy and gladness! They were to be an obedient, holy, God-fearing people and they were to be a happy people (Deut. 28:47).
With the exception of the Day of Atonement, their national holidays were all “feast” days; not days of fasting or mourning but days of happiness and joy (Lev. 23:1). Not only that, we look forward to being happy and holy forever. There’s nothing contradictory about being both at the same time and it can be done now.
Do you remember the time we were all in a restaurant and one thing led to another and soon we were laughing so much that a lady came over and asked what we were laughing about. When we told her it was just about little things that had happened in our family, she looked sad and said, “Our family never seems to find anything to laugh about.” We were not telling jokes or saying anything off-color, we were simply happy at being together and remembering some of the circumstances of family life.
At Bible classes
Look at the way the children at meeting enjoy the Wednesday night program. Who ever heard of taking school-age children out to a mid-week class? But they enjoy it so much the parents can’t keep them away. Most of the class is a Bible lesson but they have happy singing and a food treat. The little ones always have some kind of craft to show their parents and they love it.
The hall takes a beating from cookies and drink and glue and paste but we won’t mind if our priorities are right. Far better to have a dirtier hall now and cleaner minds later on when these children grow into adulthood.
A little bit of sugar
You’ll remember that song about how a little bit of sugar helps the medicine go down. The same principle applies to the Truth. You may think it’s a bit irreverent to refer to the Truth as medicine but the analogy is pretty accurate. As medicine is used to combat physical ailments, the Truth combats the great spiritual ailments of sin and death. Furthermore, you may feel the Truth should not be thought of as something distasteful and hard to take. But realistically, the Truth is distasteful to our natural impulses and divine ways are hard for these human minds to accept and apply.
That’s why we used to stop for an ice cream treat on the way home from lectures. You remember how you said the reason you liked going to lectures was because it was the only time all week you got an ice cream cone?
Animals
Another bit of sugar that can add a lot of fun to life is having animals around the home. This may mean a dog or cat or a bird or guinea pigs or chickens. What you can have will vary with your circumstances but they can add a real note of humor and enjoyment to family life.
Who will ever forget the time we raised three lambs for a season in the middle of the city. When! think about being called home from work to replant our neighbor’ s flower garden, I still chuckle to myself. It wasn’t so funny at the time and you should have kept those little ones under better control, but overall the experience added a lot of fun.
You can object that animals mean work, mess, inconvenience and expense. They do! However, if our children want them, they can add a little bit of sugar to their lives and that helps to make their growing up years fun.
Remember, too, that if what your youngsters enjoy is a big dog, it may not help to get a cat which is much easier for Mom and Pop to train and care for. If you’re trying to add some fun for them, make sure what you add is fun for them.
Fun that’s no fun
Some Dads don’t like playing ball but love to fish, so they figure they’re providing fun for the kids if they take them fishing. That’s great if the kids like to fish but no good at all if they can’t stand fishing but do love to play ball. In that case, the thing to do is play ball with them.
The same thing is true of youth circle activities. You may love hiking and figure that’s good fun for the youngsters. However, if they want to play wallyball or rent a swimming pool, then that’s what you need to do with them. Don’t cram your idea of fun down their throats; figure out what they like and do that. Make it fun for them.
Time and money
If you follow through with these ideas, you’ll find it takes effort, imagination, time and money. But it’s all part of your being unselfish in seeking the eternal welfare of your children. To direct them in the right way, you’ll have to be firm, supervise their activities and at times deny them the things their friends are doing for enjoyment.
Yet you don’t want their life to be unnecessarily somber and depressing and you don’t want your children to develop a hostile attitude toward the Truth. Therefore, as much as possible, make their life fun and their association with the Truth enjoyable. They can be holy and happy. Work at it and you’ll see it can be done.
With deep affection,
Dad
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One