Balance in Discipleship

One of the most common spiritual ills that can trouble a disciple’s walk is the tendency to become unbalanced. Lack of spiritual balance can show itself in many aspects of discipleship: preoccupation with one particular area of Bible study; enthusiasm for certain tasks in ecclesial work to the neglect of other equally important roles; the error of limiting one’s fellowship to those brothers and sisters with whom we share a common outlook, while keeping cool distance from those with whom we have differences.

Lack of balance is a weakness especially common in young people and new converts. The reasons why such disciples are often lacking in balance is twofold: young people and new converts have not had the time and experience necessary to develop the spiritual maturity which ensures a sense of balance in discipleship. But this is not to suggest that the problem of being unbalanced is restricted to just young people and recent converts. Older brothers and sisters are not, simply because of age and experience, necessarily balanced in all their attitudes and conduct. In fact, Robert Roberts and Islip Collyer both addressed exhortations on “balance” to older members of the body.* Obviously, they had observed a lack of balance among older as well as younger members in their ecclesial experience.

Brother Collyer keenly observed: “If a man is not conscious of ever having been at all unbalanced it is probable that he has never been anything else!” To recognize how commonplace lack of balance is among disciples is to ensure that self-examination for this weakness will be effective. Brother Roberts provides help for such self-examination when he identifies the various ways an unbalance in discipleship can show itself in ecclesial activities. He refers to Paul’s exhortation that believers must strive to be “thoroughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:17).

“All good works,” describes the ideal balance that believers must aim for by allowing the “whole” counsel of God—not just preferred studies — to develop a Godly balance in character and outlook. Brother Roberts stresses: “. . . not like those who . . . like to argue about first principles, but disrelish exhortation to holiness and prayer: who get up public meetings, but forget the ministration of saints: who like discussion but have not taste for worship: Who are interested in the signs of the times, but dull on the law of Christ: who take an interest in the stranger, but forget love to the brethren . . . who teach doctrine, but pass over mercy and the love of God . . . On the other hand, the man of God, furnished unto all good works, will not be found in opposite extremes. He will not exalt ‘charity’ over the gospel: he will not preach ‘love’ where the word of God is corrupted; he will not advocate peace where there is no purity; he will not hold up almsgiving as the way to salvation; he will not inculcate union and fellowship with the world on the plea of loving our neighbour as ourselves.”

Paul Is an Excellent Example of Balance

Describing a problem is always easier than prescribing the cure. How then can the common ill of unbalance be remedied or at least guarded against? Assuredly the most practical solution is to observe the example of someone who does display balance in all aspects of discipleship. Apart from the perfect example of the Master himself, the Apostle Paul’s example is the finest and fortunately we have fairly detailed accounts of how he valued this balance in his ecclesial work.

A detailed study of all the ways Paul displayed balance is obviously beyond the scope of a single article but there is a section in one of Paul’s Epistles in which his sense of balance clearly shines through. Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians was primarily aimed at calming their troubled attitude toward the call of the elect at Christ’s return to the Household: the call to judgment, the impending persecution of believers, and the need to mature while remaining steadfast in the faith were all part of Paul’s answers to the problems in Thessalonica. In view of such issues requiring review in the ec­clesia, Paul recognized that the Thessalonians needed his help in balancing themselves; he therefore prayed that he “. . . might perfect that which was lacking in (their) faith” (1 Thessalonians 3:10).

How Did Paul Treat That Which Was Lacking?

How did Paul proceed to treat that which was lacking among the Thessalonians? Apart from direct correction of their mis-understandings, Paul first reminds them of his personal example of balanced discipleship during his earlier work with the ecclesia (1 Thessalonians 2:1-6). He then makes a summary statement in verse 7 of the same chapter: “But we were gentle among you, even as a NURSE cherisheth her children.” The Apostle’s self-description is revealing; the original word for “nurse” (tro­hos) means literally, to nourish or feed. Paul reinforces this motherly image by stressing that his manner was “gentle” as he “cherished” them as his (spiritual) children. Could there possibly be a more tender and loving portrayal of Paul’s manner in working with his brothers and sisters? According to Vine, the Greek writers used this word, translated gentle,” to characterize a nurse with trying children or a teacher dealing with difficult pupils. Patient assistance perhaps best captures Paul’s description of his approach.

The word “cherisheth” (Greek: thal­po) meant to heat, soften by heat or keep warm as birds covering their young with their feathers (Vine). As a spiritual nurse to the ecclesia, Paul’s approach was marked by a warm and loving attitude toward all—expressed in practical efforts to up build and develop his fellow brethren.

Clearly, the Apostle wished to present himself as one who had a sympathetic care for the growth and welfare of all his brothers and sisters. This required of him a gentle and positive disposition as he labored in patient love to feed them the spiritual nutrients so vital for their steady spiritual growth (3:12). But how difficult this kind of service is for most of us — especially for brethren — who do not always find that maternal instincts (spiritual or physical) come very natural to them. Consider Paul’s example! Do we strive to be spiritual nurses within the ecclesia? Is this a role that really has little appeal to us? Paul undoubtedly viewed such a motherly attitude as an essential part of being a fully balanced disciple and he wished to see such an attitude adopted by the Thessalonians. This involved tasks that weren’t below such an apostle, despite the many other demands required by Paul’s special call. And the Master had shown in the upper room, when he stooped down gird with an apron and bathed his disciples’ soiled feet, that such is the true spirit of Christ; obviously a characteristic to be adopted by more than just a few select brethren. Rather, sympathetic care, kindled by a warm spirit, is a mutual responsibility according to Paul: “the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you” (1 Thessalonians 3:12).

Paul “Nursed” Onesimus

An outstanding example of Paul’s gentle cherishing of his brethren was demonstrated in the way he “nursed” Onesimus, the runaway slave. In his ardent appeal to Philemon for the re-acceptance of Onesimus, Paul reveals how he perceived his relationship to the forlorn brother: “I beseech thee (Philemon) for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds” (Philemon 10). See the maternal care that Paul showed for the prodigal brother! Do we display the same depth of love and commitment to each other — especially those who need our spiritual help?

A careful study of 1 Thessalonians 2 reveals that Paul uses two other forms of imagery to describe his work among them — in total there is a balanced picture of discipleship. In verse 11, Paul reminds them: “. . . we exhorted and comforted and charged everyone of you, as a Father doth his children.” Notice that the parental imagery is sustained but another aspect is now emphasized. The sterner qualities of fatherhood — to “exhort” and to “charge” — are now stressed as Paul adopts this image to convey his responsibility to offer correction, warning, and firm direction to his brethren.

Open Rebuke Is Better Than Secret Love

When fatherly correction was warranted, Paul was willing to exercise it in appealing to brethren as respected as Peter and Barnabas. Inconsistency in dealing with Gentile brethren required Paul to “exhort” and “charge” the brethren involved, but still with a fatherly motive: “when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed” (Galatians 2:11). When we are tempted to shirk from the responsibility, we need to remind our­selves that “open rebuke is better than secret love” (Proverbs 27:5). How many personal failings and ecclesial difficulties could have been minimized if early on someone had accepted the responsibility to offer fatherly correction to the offending member? To Paul it was part of being a totally balanced worker in the Household.

Children require the balance of warm sympathetic care and firm correction in order to maintain healthy mental and emotional development. Is spiritual growth any different? Of course not. Healthy spiritual growth needs assistance from both motherly and fatherly influences, and this must be administered by all brothers and sisters accepting this as a mutual responsibility. In turn, this demands that each of us must learn to cultivate the characteristics of spiritual “mothers” and “fathers.” The motherly ear of sympathy is just as much a Christ-like quality as the fatherly hand of correction. But unlike the Apostle Paul, do we tend to be “surgeons” more than “nurses” in our approach — attracted more to dissection and amputation than to binding and patient tending? Let us be on our guard against such unbalance in our ecclesial relations.

In verse 14, Paul shifts to the final type of relationship that he wishes to stress to the Thessalonians: “For ye, Brethren, became followers of the churches of God which in Judaea are in Christ Jesus . . .” A mother, a father, and finally a fellow brother—each conveyed to Paul a different quality of relationship between brethren. The last re­lationship, a fellow “brother”, is different from the first two in that it alters the image from that of an overseeing parent to one who is on a completely equal footing with another. It describes a relationship marked by a sense of mutual co-operation and importance. Each member works as part of a team, united as one body with the same high calling. The perspective conveyed by this sense of brotherhood is perhaps best described by Paul in a letter to another Macedonian ecclesia: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (Philippians 2:3-5).

The true greatness of a godly disciple is his willingness to subject himself in working with others. This places a spiritual demand on our sense of humility at any time but never so much as when we know we are dealing with someone of lesser knowledge and experience about a subject at hand. Still, we must not overbear but present our view in a sincere tone of brotherly respect. Careful examination of Paul’s brotherly appeal to Philemon shows how Paul presented his desires to one of much lesser authority, but without sacrificing genuine humility, careful tact, or mutual respect: “Yet for love’s sake I rather beseech thee; If thou count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself; Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord . . .” (Philemon 9,17,20). Here is a model for any brotherly appeal: ‘I appeal to you in love, dear brother; as a partner in the faith—as my fellow brother’ !

This final example from Paul displays the vital attitude necessary to develop and ensure balance in our characters. Humility ensures teachableness; a willingness to accept the warning that we may be quite unbalanced in some aspects of our discipleship. In brother Collyer’s analysis of unbalance (referred to earlier) he identified pride as the main cause of a disciple lacking balance: “Of all the evils of the flesh, pride will most upset balance, and when men are unbalanced pride is most effectually disguised.”

Brethren, let all of us strive for bal­ance in our attitudes and endeavors, and as much as we attain it we will be closer to fulfilling a true reflection of the Master: “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5).