We should try to avoid arguments whenever possible, but when an argument cannot be avoided, we should argue in a Christ-like spirit.
Love is not quick to take offense. (1 Cor. 13:5 NEB.). If we are trying to follow Christ, we should be slow to anger. Anger is a symptom of self esteem. Ecc. 7:9 says, “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” The word for “Fool” is “kesil,” meaning “self Confident.” Humble people can control their temper better than proud people who have to prove themselves right at all cost.
Sometimes in an argument we must admit we have done wrong. This is hard to do, for even since Adam and Eve were confronted with their sin in the Garden of Eden, men have had a hard time admitting their faults.
It is also important in an argument to listen to what the other party is saying. Jas. 1:19 puts it this way, “let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
In an argument we ought to keep our voices down. Prov. 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
According to 1 Cor. 13:4 we should never be unkind. Arguments bring out unkindness in a number of ways. Name calling should be avoided. Also we should avoid saying things that we know will get under the skin of whomever we are fighting with.
There are several reasons why we should not bring unrelated or distant happenings into an argument. First, according to 1 Cor. 13:6, it is wrong to keep a score of wrongs. Second it is unfair to keep a score of wrongs, for we cannot turn back the clock and set the past right even if we want to. Thirdly, it is one of the most miserable feelings in the world to hold a grudge. If our goal is to be happy we ought to never hold a grudge. The best way to argue is to pick a topic and not change the subject to other grudges. If holding a grudge is sinful, unfair and makes us unhappy, why bother to do it?
If we remember to be humble, slow to wrath, kind, forgiving, and keep our voice down, we will get along better with others, and be more pleasing to our heavenly Father.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One