Self-examination is a necessary part of Christian living. It should be practised diligently by all who would be clothed upon with the ” fine linen ” which “is the righteousness of saints.” If it were given more attention by more believers, the body of Christ would know less pride and less ill-feeling.
There are always some who are fully confident of themselves, preferring to remain insensitive to their effect upon others. They are able to pass over their mistakes lightly., writing them off as “spilt milk.” These are not the kindest of characters; they are not those from whom the weak draw strength, nor is their own spiritual growth encouraged by their carefreeness. But there are others who care too much, those upon whom mistakes weigh heavily and who give themselves over to disproportionate worry over an unfortunate remark or a thoughtless action. Their faults, big or small, seem to them unpardonable. As a result, their self-examination becomes introspective self-accusation, accompanied by varying degrees of mental depression and even physical sickness. Then they are hindered and not furthered in their walk before God. Self-examination demands self-control : it demands an understanding of perspective and an awareness of true godliness.
If we find ourselves prone to unproductive heart-searching, then we must discover the reason why.
Firstly, are we giving too much thought to looking backward and not enough to looking forward? Do we allow ourselves to be overshadowed by what has gone before? Our wrongdoing must alarm us before we are able to repent; but once we see the foolishness of our ways, then we must press onward ” forgetting those things which are behind.” A realization of our former pride, selfishness, frivolousness or whatever it might have been, is a reason to be glad rather than to lament, for the grace of God has added to us the spiritual understanding to perceive our sinfulness, and moreover the desire to overcome it.
Secondly, are we giving too much thought to trivial matters? Are we worrying unduly over those minor indiscretions? Do we make a habit of living in a state of anxiety lest we have become an offender for a word? If so, then we must realize the littleness of our worrying : we must see it in its right perspective and learn from our errors the lesson of humility. The mistakes we have made give us opportunity of knowing how weak and erring we are, and because of that we are helped to be longsuffering and kind in our judgment of others.
No self-examination should ever lead us to despair of ourselves. We can always turn to ” God, Who comforteth those ‘that are cast down,” for ” if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We remember how Paul, searching into his heart, into his natural ways, found that what he would do, that he did not; and what he hated, that he did. We remember impetuous Peter, so strong in his love for Jesus and yet so weak that he denied him thrice.
Paul was moved to say, ” O wretched man that I am !”, and Peter ” went out, and wept bitterly.”
We, too, must feel our own wretchedness: we, too, may experience the bitterness of remorse, but like Paul and Peter ” we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities,” but one who ” was in all points tempted like as we are.” Because of their confidence in the saving Name of Jesus, these disciples did not despair in their weakness, but they came ” boldly unto the throne of grace.”
We may do likewise, that we, too, “may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Yet dissatisfaction with ourselves is not always born of true repentance nor of humility. It may be the result of pride.
In the Talmud it is written, “There is a great difference between him who is ashamed before his own self, and him who is only ashamed before others.”
We may not be worried by our particular failing until we know that we have revealed it to our friends; then the real concern is merely our fear of a damaged reputation and not of our sinfulness before God. We are afraid that we have made ourselves look foolish or unfaithful to our principles, and it hurts our self-esteem. Let us beware lest we should encourage ourselves in such unworthy thinking, remembering that “all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of Him with Whom we have to do.”
The fear of the censure of our fellows may exert itself when our own conscience does not condemn us, and what “they” think can play too large a part in determining our actions. This, too, may be caused by pride, by our unwillingness to lose prestige or by our weakness in facing opposition.
This timidity is not new to us : it is an old human failing. Peter had been convinced within himself that it was right to eat with the Gentiles. Had it not been revealed first to him that they were to be admitted into the brotherhood of Christ? Had it not been agreed upon as a principle of the Christian Church that circumcision should not be demanded of them? But there were those brethren that did not agree. Peter was content to mix freely with the Gentiles at Antioch while there was none to call his action in question, yet when Jewish brethren arrived from Jerusalem his courage failed him, and he ” withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision.” Not only so, but in his weakness he encouraged others to do likewise, even Barnabas also, and it was necessary for Paul to denounce their action.
A sage once said to his pupils as he lay dying, “Fear God, as much as you fear man.” In surprise they asked, ” Not
more?” “If you would but fear Him as much!” he replied.
Would that we might also! But what an unbalanced picture of Christian behaviour we have drawn. Our ink must not run dry yet! Does this fearlessness which we must adopt allow us to pursue boldly any course which we believe to be right regardless of all opposition? It does—but only in the basic principles of our faith. Even then ” one duty is incumbent on all who teach what they believe to be the truths of God. It is that they should state them with all possible candour, courtesy, forbearance, considerateness,” and that they should be prepared to return, even until seventy-times seven, gentleness for sharpness, kindness for bitterness and warmth for coolness. What a tribute it was to Peter, and what a lesson for us (so easily forgotten), that despite the painful incident at Antioch when the younger and then less-reputed Paul openly rebuked him, Peter was still able to write of ” our beloved brother Paul.”
In his letters to the Romans and to the Corinthians Paul showed the believers how they were to behave in matters where there was room for individual opinion. Some saw meat as unclean : others did not. For the Christian,- Paul told them, there was no law which made meat unclean, but if the consciences of some were not fully persuaded, then these were not to be hurt by those that were so. Those that could eat were not to offend those, who for conscience sake, could not.
Each one was to be fully persuaded in his own mind. He could be happy in that which he allowed, but when his brother was present then he was to use discretion lest he should offend one weaker than himself. So it was to be with meat offered to idols. Christian liberty was not to be an excuse for the wounding of another’s conscience and so sinning against Christ. They were to have thought one for the other.
In our day the cleanness or uncleanness of meat is seldom a matter of bitter contention: the question of meat offered to idols does not arise. But the principle which Paul establishes is there for us. Where there is difference of opinion and where we know that we are liable to offend by pursuing a course, which to us seems right, but to others seems wrong, then in their company and for their sakes we must restrain ourselves. This is neither weak nor wavering: it is the following of the precept that we must submit one to the other, that we must not please ourselves but ” every one of us please his neighbour.” So, we “ought to shoulder the burden of the doubts and qualms of others and not just to go our own sweet way.”1
That in these debatable and minor issues we cannot always please all is obvious. There are times when our weight has to be put one way or the other. Yet, even then, we must make every endeavour to avoid the flaunting of our opinions or the displaying of our actions amongst those to whom we would case offence. To do otherwise would be unfitting for the servants of our Lord.
We must be restrained, therefore, not by the fear of our fellows, not by the dread of scorn or contempt, not because we long for approval or applause, but because “the love of Christ constraineth us.”
May we, then, use self-examination to the end that we thrust out our pride and seeking of the praise of men, so that at last our hearts may “condemn us not, for then shall we have confidence before God.”
Reference
- J. B. Phillip’s translation of Rom. 15 : 1.
Reflections on the Potter and the Clay