What an awesome thought—that we should be the mother of a child who would one day be a king! What careful thought would need to go into his training and companions and, knowing how children copy, how careful we would need to be that our own example was good.
A full time work surely, we would think, yet Mary did just this, with the added responsibility of a large family as well. We can’t help thinking what a wonderful woman she must have been to have been chosen for such a mighty work. But we can help it when we also complacently sit back with a feeling of relief and murmur, “But I’m no Mary, my children are perfectly ordinary”—and can we hear the “thank goodness” coming next?
Certainly we haven’t been called to bear the son of the Almighty, but can we say our children will never be kings? We know we cannot. And we know that very largely the child is father of the man and, if we can nurture in our children the desire to serve the Lord in their tender years, they may grow to maturity with the determination to fight the good fight of faith and finally rule with him.
How are we coping, as mothers, as sisters of Mary? Are we in our diligence to care properly for the natural inclined to forget the spiritual needs? Are we careful and troubled about many things, like Martha? Let’s be like her sister sometimes and sit down and forget the work and spend time listening to little problems and experiences, and with the word fitly spoken help them to look for the good in others, or perhaps encourage them to experience the satisfaction of a kindness done. Remember, we may be helping to mould a future king or queen!
Don’t let’s talk at them; talk with them. Help them realize that their problems were largely ours in our childhood, but let them know of our failures, and how we could have done better. Don’t try to put ourselves on a pedestal, we will topple eventually—let them know that we have our battles to fight, too, if we wish to be of any use to our Heavenly Father. Above all, let’s be very good friends with our children.
We are fortunate in that the Holy Word contains at least one record of a mother’s advice to her son. In Proverbs 31 we read of “The words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him”, and it is generally considered that Lemuel was none other than Solomon himself. If this is so then his mother could never have reproached herself had she lived to witness his gradual decline from divine favour as he listened to his heathen wives. His mother’s advice was good and sound: she tutored him well in the attributes of a conscientious, godly woman, and we can’t help feeling a little impatient at his jaundiced comment in later life that one righteous man among a thousand had he found, but not one woman among that number. He evidently had conveniently forgotten that “beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised”.
Let’s look a little closer at what she has to say, it may help us in some way. Our first reaction as we peruse the chapter from verse 10 is probably one of despair. We are prepared now perhaps to concede that our role as mothers, or future mothers, does bear some similarity to that of Mary’s, but, if we are to measure up to the pattern of life set out here, we feel defeated before we begin.
But before going any further, let’s realise that this was the way of life of an average Israelitish woman of this time, the spinning, the weaving, baking, planting and gathering. Her housework would not take much of her time, the interior of the home being just one large square room of ground floor only, divided into two parts, not by a wall but by one part being on a higher level than the other. The raised section could, when necessary, house livestock, but when these were removed it could be used for handicrafts, or children’s play.
The beds were just mattresses rolled up and stored in a trunk all day, and one slept in one’s clothes. In the evening the beds were placed around the cooking fire for warmth, tiny babies in swaddling clothes placed in hammock-like beds swung across the corner of the room, a heavy bar of wood placed across the door of the house, and the night lamp lit. This night lamp was very simple—a wick in a saucer of olive oil on a stand, and was left burning all night in case of emergency. This would be her “candle that goeth not out by night” mentioned in verse 18.
We can realize that in living so simply in this one room the time spent on house cleaning would not compare with the cleaning and tidying of a five-or six-roomed 20th century house. But on the other hand a considerable amount of her time would be spent in adequately clothing her family.
We, at best, buy material and machine-sew our clothes, but the Israelitish housewife would commence the process with a heap of sheep wool or goats hair. This would have to be spun into long strong thread and then woven into cloth. This spinning was learned at an early age and done by hand, and with practice could be accomplished walking along the street or talking with a friend. In the left hand a knot of wool was attached to a stick called the distaff, from which you pulled and twisted into an ever lengthening thread. On the end of the thread was attached a spindle, the weight of which would help to keep the twisting steady and even, and when the spindle reached the ground the thread was wound on to it smoothly, forming a spool. This is the process referred to in verse 19, where it is recorded, “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff”.
This woman was evidently most painstaking and her work very beautiful. She was evidently able to weave silk for her clothing, and when we remember how fine this thread is we can appreciate her skill. Her home she beautified with coverings of tapestry. She took care that her household did not need to dread winter, for she provided them with double garments. She must have become extremely skillful, for she still found time to weave lengths of fine linen and make girdles to sell.
The other duty which would take much of her time was the providing her household with food. We may have pondered verse 14 which reads, “She is like the merchants’ ships, she bringeth her food from afar”, but a little insight into the manner in which she came by the food for her household throws some light on the subject. Take for instance the olive, which played so vital a part in the cooking and seasoning of the food.
The olive trees grew best in hard, rocky soil, so they were planted together in groves, wherever such suitable soil conditions could be found, each tree being owned by a different family. The trees were closely guarded by watchmen, until a proclamation was made that all who had trees go forth and gather their fruit. It was the work of the women and children to do this gathering, and the grove was often quite some distance from the village. The olives they gathered were placed into flat baskets, which in turn were piled one on top of the other on their heads, and carried to the olive press. Here they were crushed and the oil caught in earthen jars, which in turn were carried home. We can appreciate the simile, “She is like the merchants’ ships”, when we realize that a tree would yield in a good season from 10 to 15 gallons. How that oil would be appreciated after all that work.
Then, again, the harvesting of the crops was a family affair, with mother included, to say nothing of hours of harvesting figs and carrying them home, patiently picking up dates being thrown from the palms, packing them in baskets and carrying them home. Then there were grapes to be harvested, some to dry, others to press, all brought from afar and, furthermore, carried on the head.
We may wonder, too, that she considered a field and bought it and with the fruit of her hands she planted a vineyard. It seems very likely that the money she obtained from her selling of linen and girdles, “the fruit of her hands”, to the merchant was used in this way, for “she looketh well to the ways of her household”, and seems determined that they will not lack anything they need, if she can help it.
She rose before dawn to be sure that her family was properly fed, and sent them on their way not only with food for the day for themselves, but also it would appear extra for the poor maidens who gleaned in the fields.
We can now most certainly appreciate the fact that “she eateth not the bread of idleness”, as mentioned in verse 27. She appears thoroughly capable, very conscientious and thoughtful. Yet there must have been many such women in Israel, well trained by their mothers before them to look well to the needs of their household. These women are in fact mentioned in verse 29, where we read, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all”. The woman we are considering was of a calibre so hard to find that her price was considered far above rubies. In what way, then, did she differ from her sisters?
In verse 20 we read that despite all she had to do she found time to stretch out her hand to the poor, “Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy”: perhaps a warm garment here, some freshly baked unleavened bread to someone else. She evidently did not indulge in idle chatter, for we read in verse 26 that what she did have to say was wise and kind. This particular characteristic gives us a clue to a hidden strength, for we know from James’ epistle, “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body”. And from whence came this strength? “She feared the Lord.” So she persevered hour by hour, day by day, in trying to be the daughter he would have her to be.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the holy is understanding,” To really know God is completely humbling, and from His word she would realize that to please Him she would have to constantly keep under any selfish urgings from within and live that law, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
She truly feared the Lord. This is the key to her pre-eminence above her sisters. So she became patient, kind and wise, and whatsoever her hand found to do she did it with her might, as unto her Father.
Her godliness brought its own reward. Her husband had perfect faith in her, he praised her, and she was such an influence for good that he rose to the rank of an elder and had a place of authority at the city gate where legal issues were decided. Her children appreciated her worth and blessed her. Her kindnesses were known of others and she was highly spoken of.
If only Solomon had heeded his mother’s advice his name may have appeared next to his father’s in Hebrews 11 in the list of the faithful; but it is ominously absent.
You will notice that nowhere is she described as being comely or beautiful: her physical appearance did not matter. “For the Lord seeth not as man seeth, for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”
Perhaps it would not do us any harm to thinks of ourselves as appearing angry and distorted in God’s sight in some of our own uglier moments, and much sweeter in our kinder ones, for we have yet to stand before a Judge who needs not that any should testify of man, for he, too, know what is in man.
Can we make any comparison between her way of living and ours? Can the duties of an Israelitish woman, and the way she fulfilled them, help us in this gadget-conscious, streamlined 20th century? Yes, of course they can. The principles which ruled her life can just as easily rule ours. She realized that to conscientiously provide for the needs of her family, to do a kindness wherever she could and keep under the urges of the flesh, was the way in which she could best serve her Lord.
Her humdrum life of spinning, weaving, carrying and preparing food, training children, was the life in which she had to work out her own salvation. And if we honestly believe that all things work together for good for those who fear God, then we will realize it is for our eternal good that we are living our lives as we are. Every day is a fresh challenge. Whatsoever our hands find to do, let us do it with our might as unto the Lord, never forgetting, as mentioned before, that to stop work at times is also part of our work.
We will sometimes fall short—Peter fell miserably, but his failure made him the stronger. I think if we try to analyse some of our past lapses, when we have borne no resemblance whatsoever to the “virtuous woman”, we may realize that we were just simply too tired. Patience wears thin when we are very weary, and a sharp tongue contributes nothing towards a happy home. Some people, of course, don’t tire easily at all, but if we do, let’s guard against those mammoth working orgies. Perhaps we may have a great sense of satisfaction next day, but the family simply couldn’t care less about our accomplishments; they will only remember the irritability.
Let’s try to master the little problems, irritation and temptations from day to day —remember, our daily routine is our training ground. Then the bigger things, when they inevitably come, will not be so overwhelming. Remember the Master’s words, “Thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things”.
Now that we have come thus far, we may feel that we have learned in principle much of what is to be learned from this section of scripture and be content to leave it there. But let’s linger a little longer, for we know “it is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter”, and if we search, we may find hidden treasure.
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One