Your problem is a very real one. In this age, when God does not speak openly to men as He has done in some ages by visions and miracles, we are likely to be in doubt whether God has heard, or at any rate answered, our prayers. But let us be sure of one point first—if God does not answer our prayers, or to put it more accurately, if we cannot perceive any answer, it doesn’t necessarily mean that He hasn’t heard us. Then consider this—what do we expect God to do when He hears our prayers? More important, what have we a right to expect Him to do ? God is all-wise and ever-loving’ He knows far better than we do what is for our highest good ; and sometimes He considers it better not to grant us our requests’ He would not be acting according to wisdom and love if He did give us what we asked for, if it were not really the best thing for us, would he ?
Here is an item published in the Reader’s Digest for April, 1956 :
“I asked God for strength, that I might achieve —I was made weak that I might humbly obey.
I asked for help that I might do greater things! was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy—I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life-
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things’
I got nothing that I asked for—but everything that I had hoped for.
Despite myself, my prayers were answered—I am, among all men, most richly blessed !”
The writer of the above evidently understood the spirit of the Apostle Paul’s words in II Corinthians 12. 7-10, where Paul relates how he had asked God three times to heal a physical weakness from which he suffered, but God had shown him that he must bear it, regarding it as of no importance compared with the grace of God so richly bestowed upon him. His comfort and convenience were as nothing, compared with his spiritual well-being, which would lead to his salvation, and his blessing in due time with eternal life and immortality.
We need to trust God to do what is best for us. Even Jesus prayed for something which His Father could not grant—but he qualified his request, making it subject to God’s will. The occasion I refer to is the prayer in Gethsemane, when Jesus asked release from the awful fate that he knew awaited him ; but he added “Yet not my will, but Thine, be done”1. This is the spirit we must try to emulate—make our requests to God, but ask Him to grant them only if they are in accordance with His will, which we should trust as being in our very best interests.
When we think along these lines, we come to realise that, for our prayers to be granted, then they must be the kind of prayers that God could properly grant ; therefore we try to bring our minds into
conformity with God’s mind. Expression of our thoughts in prayer to God is itself a great help in this direction, as it draws us near to Him in thought.
If we could bring our minds into as close conununion with God as Jesus did, we could know that we were asking only those requests that God could grant us, and we could be sure that He would do so. That, I think, is the meaning of Matthew 21. 21-22, where Jesus said, “All things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive”.
However, being weak, mortal creatures, we cannot always fully believe, and consequently cannot fully expect to receive. This matter of faith, belief and reward is brought out by Paul in Hebrews 11. 6, where he says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God : for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him”. One of the ways that we should seek Him is in prayer ; and all through the Scriptures we are told that we should be most diligent in prayer’
A good example of constant prayer receiving God’s answer (though probably not at all in the way looked for) is the case of Cornelius, in Acts 10. In verse 2 we are told that this devout man prayed “always”, and in verse 4 that his prayers and good works “are come up for a memorial before God”, and so God sent the Apostle Peter to him to show him the way of life.
Truly, “the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much-2 ; but God is the only One who has the wisdom and the full knowledge to choose, in love, how it should “avail much”.
You are concerned whether you are going the right way about prayer’ That is. a question I can’t really answer ;you will have to search your own heart, and see whether you are approaching God in humility and with a pure heart. “A contrite heart He will not despise”. The parable of the Pharisee and the publican in Luke 19. 14 is helpful in this respect’
As to the actual form of prayer, I don’t think that is important in God’s sight—that is brought out by the parable I have just mentioned ; the publican’s prayer was not eloquent, nor carefully framed to cover every need, but it was the earnest outpouring of a heart that yearned to have true communion with God. The publican trusted God and placed himself entirely in God’s hands to deal with him as He would.
I do hope that these thoughts will help you. Keep on praying ; God will surely hear you, and He will do what is best for you, even if you can’t see it just now.
Reference
1—Matt. 26. 39
2—James 5. 16
Reflections on the Potter and the Clay