Adam, though created alone, was not complete or self-sufficient. He needed company, moral support, a back-stop — call it what you will — and the need was filled with that miracle of surgery, Eve. We are each ‘Adam’ again in the sense that (however independent we are by nature or force of circumstance; it is not good for us to be alone. Children need brothers, sisters and living parents, a man needs a woman to cherish, a woman needs a man to honour, and there is always something lost when these relationships are not present.
The arrival of children created the first FAMILY, the unit upon which tribes and nations were to be built. The bonds of this “building block” were created and sanctified by God. These bonds are broken or degraded at great peril.
Our Creator, through the scriptures, is at pains to spell out, to our sometimes unreceptive minds, how important the family is in His estimation. Under the Law of Moses adultery was punishable by death, as indeed was a child’s total rebellion against parental authority! The wise man advises overcautious parents not to `spare the rod’ to keep children up to the mark; and we read with feeling the plea of the older and wiser man as he advises his son of the pitfalls of life. (Proverbs 1-7).
The Master was aware of the beauty, of the reality and of the turmoil of family life, having almost certainly taken the position of responsibility following the death of Joseph. His love for children and knowledge of daily family life is evident in his teachings. Jesus re-affirms the sacred marriage bond as God first made it, insisting that the divorce allowed by Moses was a compromise allowed to a rebellious nation (Mark 10:4-5) .
There were times when Jesus demanded allegiance to himself before and above the natural family (Matt. 10:37), but it would be an odd sense of reason which would see in this any lessening of Christ’s view of the family unit. His demands would never, of course, be any problem in the case of believing parents and their children.
The Apostles are very pointed in their remarks on the best and the worst that can be made of the marriage/family unit. They speak directly to us and to our 20th Century. Paul speaks of perilous times, listing disobedience to parents among the gross sins of our day (2 Tim. 3:1-5). Adultery, fornication, and worse are the shame of our times, they are the cracks in the foundations of our world society and the invitation for Christ to appear in judgment (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 1:18-32).
Paul, in Ephesians Chapters 5 and 6, has much to say in setting ideals for children, engaged couples, and parents . . .
5:21-22, 24 — Wives subject to husbands (She is happier this way despite 20th Century rumour to the contrary!). She is the practical one; the God-given help without whose assistance no family man gives of his best in the work of God.
5:23-25 — Husbands taking leadership of the family, not by domination, but through love and personal sacrifice.
6:1 — Children to obey parents. Do they realise the part they play in breaking down the family ideal when they openly defy their parents?
6:4 — Parents to be reasonable in their demands.
Above all, we note that the greatest revelation of God to man in His uprightness, justice and mercy was expressed — to our greater comprehension — in terms of family life. God had a son! The son learned obedience! The Father gave His only son. What greater love could we comprehend and, in our present context, what elevation and inspiration is here given for our natural family life?
There is no shortage of ideals in scripture on this subject and, in the right atmosphere, teenagers are not unwilling to know them. Youth is idealistic about life and it is a great loss when these ideals are not carefully explained in the ecclesial CYC class and in the home. But these ideals have to be proven valid and applied to life in terms which are realistic and understandable. There is need for straight thinking about the marriage covenant in these times — both for the single and the wed. Equally pressing is the strain on the parent/child bond in these days when parents confuse love with gifts or freedom and often give up the task of discipline in desperation: children see no need to obey, see no example they want to follow, and as for respecting elders, reckon one might as well be dead as over 30!
On this latter problem of parents and elders dealing with children and the ecclesial “young people”, may we try to stimulate thought for the balance of this article. If you have comments to assist in solving these difficulties, we would be most happy to hear from you.
The Ecclesial Scene
Arranging Brethren throughout Australia have been moved to think again about their young people. They want to be sure that conduct and thinking is as it ought to be among those growing up within the ecclesial influence. What should be done? The Writer claims no special wisdom or authority, but could he suggest the following pattern as a basis for consideration. a basis that is already in operation in various forms in quite a number of ecclesial?
(a) The Arranging Brethren and elders should know what their young folk are doing, and know that they are being adequately spiritually guided. They should know that at least one responsible married couple is present at all major activities.
(b)An ecclesia and its young people do respect the elder who can give practical guidance from the exhorting platform, and this should be the place where the ecclesia, as a family, gathers to hear the standards set. It is unfortunate when brethren are found to be speaking only theory, jots and tittles rather than setting forth, in love for the flock, the pattern for practical Christ-centred life.
(c) It might be thought desirable to roster an Arranging Brother to be present at each and every Youth gathering to see that everyone “toes the line”. But let’s be realistic — this could also dominate, stifle and even drive away our young folk. A Youth Leader, President, Representative—the term doesn’t matter—is needed. A person, persons or married couple, with the trust and respect of both the Arranging Brethren and the Young Folk, fills the bill. Thus the Youth group, with their own Secretary and committee, have the satisfaction of planning, running and being enthusiastic about their activities, and yet the Arranging Brethren still have the knowledge that all is in order.
The Youth Program should be balanced, allowing for indoor and outdoor social activities, music, Bible exposition, practical talks and group discussions, with the maximum possible participation of each member.
The General Picture
If you have read this far, you are probably a parent facing these issues, or perhaps you are connected with, or concerned about, your ecclesial young people. And so, more or less at random, a few problems which we face together — again we would welcome your thoughts. To clarify the problem in our mind is to be half-way toward an answer.
Problems
- To understand the world our children face. We can scarcely bring ourselves to believe, for example, that OUR children will either take or be offered illicit DRUGS at school. Do you know that what we will consider pornography is SET READING at school and university?
- To know that outward dress usually reveals the heart in an older person, but not always in teenagers.
- To tell the difference between a passing minor rebellion (e.g. clothing fads, a beard, etc.) and a real antipathy and deep rejection of spirituality — often with outward neatness and conformity. On the other hand, to encourage Young People to dress as becomes those growing to know and serve Jesus Christ, avoiding extremes of fashion and immodest clothing (1 Tim. 2:9; Gal. 5:23-24).
- To maintain respect and obedience to elders, a respect often lost by trying overmuch to be “with it” and a “mate” rather than an image of maturity. Conversely being out of touch, making rules that are unreal. Not living the standards we ask of our children.
- To give sex its natural setting in a loving family group — despite all the pressures that degrade the subject. To start sex education at nearer 4 than 14.
- To discuss the Bible and the scriptural way of life in the normal meal-time talk, instead of only on Sunday.
- To give young people ideals — they want them!
- To talk reality, not theory. (That’s hard!).
- To be personally totally dedicated to Christ, asking God for guidance in all these things.
Finally, James 1:5 (NEB) is very much to the point for those who grapple with these realities of life — “If any of you falls short in wisdom, he should ask God for it and it will be given him, for God is a generous giver who neither refuses nor reproaches anyone.”
The Origin of the Organic World – Part One